Spillin the flow

[davejot]

Why addictions cant be good, seduction ought to be good,and it is impossible to make -reductions to the answer,get grab of those peaches,and the preachers cant just reach us,and make weak us,they tryin to find my breaking-point, i guess dats the reason for the breakup -right,till den i was scared to come out,the only way to reach out,this this,cruel world made me do it,thank you all my haters,you were more of a painkiller,cuz i knew there was some competition,all the roads were blured, this was my only road to redemption,sorry guys but il take the credit for myself, cuz ur names dont suite with me,actually betryal dsn't suite with me,i better suite down than suite up,cuz the chick over right there,wants me to take her to the next room,life gives options,its up to you ,you take it,or better find your own one,guess i owe the cruel world one

[ Post made via Mobile Device ]

[Alvin]

Well it was decent.couldn't really find a flow to it, and topic seems to be all over the place. Get to computer and drop something, it might have been that you were mobile lol. ok drop though, read like poetry. Welcome to illest!

[ Post made via Mobile Device ]

[davejot]

well thanks for the reply man..
Ya actually my pc blew up last week so had to put it up through my mobile
and thx for ur views actually its only been like 3 months since iv started writing and wanted some sort of guidence as im living in India the rap scene here is some what...u know....
Well then i stumbled across this website and truely telling you iv signed up at other hiphop sites and they are literally biased
but well to much said thx for your reply and il appreciate your help

[Alvin]

No problem man, just keep dropping feed on peoples stuff so they know u exist. The more u feed, the more feedback you'll get.

[ Post made via Mobile Device ]

[Riggz]

Get structure to your verses (even on your crack-berry)
Find a subject and structure your verse around it. Random thoughts can be melted together to form a decent piece.
Avoid paragraph style verses as they make it hard to find flow.

G/L man.