A Man Of Power

[JDR]

haha oh shit i liked this. And at least the communist did somethin right. I'm pretty good wit my guns.

Thot this piece was easy to follow. Rhymes were basic but to the point. Nice story tellin'. Only thing I really see wrong with it is it was short. A topic like this, you coulda rode on it awhile. Nice drop.

[QwarterZ]

when I read the intro the first thing I can think of is Lord Of War...nice piece by the way I thought the transitioning was nice and the rhyming was cool...sort of different for you I believe either way you kept me interested until the end...which came too abruptly..either way a nice piece my dude keep writing

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[Tim Edgar]

yeh gd shit man. gd flow.
talking bout decent issues n all.
peace

[TheNobleOne]

this wasnt a bad piece man, feelin it. it flowed pretty well, kats dont always have to use ten multi syllable lyrics to get their point across. like jack said though with this topic i think you could have went on a little more then you did, i was just getting into it and then it ended. it was still a good piece just wish you would have let us read a little more foreal. holla

[Kuhlerblynd]

This definitely had a Lord of War type feel to it. I liked the flow and how the entire thing was worded. I agree with Jack, this could have gone farther, but its not like you havent left it open-ended to where you might do a follow up piece with it or something like that. I was digging the imagery too. I gotta get to this collab we're working on so its finished, but wanted to feed this real quick since I noticed your comment in the shout box.

[Phasewon]

Dope shit, I can't hate on gun metaphor joints since I've done one, this one was executed very simply, yet effective, nice simple multies but a smooth flow and props on the even 16 bars, good shit.

[Borat]

hey alright.. I like this drop, "There are over 550 million firearms in worldwide circulation. That's one firearm for every twelve people on the planet. The only question is: How do we arm the other 11?

They say, "Evil prevails when good men fail to act." What they ought to say is, "Evil prevails."

I totally love that shit right there. I feel like this could of went sooo much further. I think you should actually add to this and make it longer, the flow was clean and easy for me to read. I like the simple yet complex shit like this. nice topic too keeping it real.

[IntrinsicCadence]

Alright, I can feel this joint. As others have said it could definitely be continued upon in all sorts of ways, feels like its just the beginning of something that should be gettin into it deeper. Like continuing on with some actual storytelling kinda shit that describes from a first person view the effect the gun has had on a life or a community or something. Like a story from the eyes of someone in sierra leone or somethin. The other thing that could improve this piece 'd be a rewrite with some more vivid kinda vocab choices. The message is clear and the flow is decent, and the metaphor stays on point all the way through, but the vocab makes it feel a bit too simple. Other than those suggestions though, this is a real dope drop. Nice to see the diversity in ur writing style. Hope to read some more shit like this in the future...

[Borat]

It would be cool if you could leave some feed on this http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/colle ... 18949.html

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[Orfadox]

Yeah Man Feeling That Alot Only Thing That Put Me Off Was How Short It Was Other Than That Everything Was On Point

[aLb]

He's always armed to warriors even in the Sierra Leone
Sick and crazy so he'll fire more than a pair at ya dome

I see you changed your name again TOYH. Nice topical, but like Jack said, kinda short. You could've put a few more clues in it for a nice little mystery joint.

..damn neighbors next door are tearing up the fukin' apartment, let me go settle some shit!