Rise of a new sun.

[Ramzi]

My lyrics are kinda sophisticated, many say they get emaciated
Year by year my words are maturating, intellectually saturated..
My wisdom is a river with underwater flows in it,
I'm wealthy, but my treasure can't be measured in digits,
I'm not really amazed with rap, i think nowdays it's crap
Im too ambitious, so if i'd started to rap i would had been conspicious..
Inside my heart there's unextinguashable fire,
I tell truth from the start, im here to diminish those liars,
I try my best to live proper, but this sort of life is not my type,
I feel confident to fulfill my mission,
Main component is the total submission
To God, i just try to warn u like 2pac, look
My goal is to shine before Jigga gets shot soon..
This is rise of a new sun,
My aim is you, son..

[IntrinsicCadence]

Alright, this ain't bad for a first drop, but I hope your future drops build on some more interesting concepts and I'd also suggest working a bit on the flow. You use your vocabulary well, and with this kind of vocab you have the potential to be expressive with what your saying. As for the content of the lyrics, they are actually really generic, too many cats out there spittin' how good they are and how shitty contemporary rap is. I feel you got some potential though, if you bring out some more interesting concepts that strike from the soul. I'd also suggest working on your flow a bit, you start off for the first couple lines with a decent rhyme scheme, nothing too complex, but straightforward and rhythmic, but it falls off a couple lines into it and never really comes back. There's a couple words here and there that rhyme, but the rhythm seems to fall off and the rhyme scheme seems to be left behind. When your writing keep your mind focused on the rhythm and the concept you really want to shine.

[Ramzi]

Thanks for your advices, i will try to make it better next time!

[TJ Blaque Aka TL]

eh...this was a cool drop your lines did not balance out like they should be. But it's not bad fam. the lyrical content is nice , flow in some points was off. But its not horrible. Im looking forward to your next drop though.