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Release your best recorded material and let the world hear your talent. It doesn't matter what level you are on - you will get constructive feedback to increase your skills.

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Please go back and fix as many of your old songs as you want.
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Soulo
Potential Emcee
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Posts: 47
Joined: Mon Jul 05, 2010 7:04 pm

Life

Post by Soulo »

[youtube]tzQ_aB-6kJU[/youtube]

Life...
1993, I was one out of four-hundred thousand
fetus ready for life being born was my outlet
'96 my mother exposed me to stories to open my mind
as I scoped through the lines to learn my options in life
'99 my fam moved to the states, so new to the place
for the purpose of a better school and food on the plate
now it's a different century the same goals stay true to my heart
but tomorrow's the only day my future can start
I've got dreams and hopes without the means to cope
have the flames inside me but I breathed the smoke
I gotta find my own way, through my own wealth
but I'ma never stock my soul up behind some shelves
I give and earn, live and learn as every second turns
all things I've ever had started from within the dirt

'95, opened books to a universe in tune with words
no sound, yet being sound was a music few have heard
bliss is ignorance; cause yo truth can hurt
like the fact we're unimportant…according to Google Earth
trying to prove my worth through my works
so I look for wisdom in my lyrics that'll have Confucius learn
hold my own weight with an ounce of truth
gravity exists to keep me doing what I'm down to do
sometimes even my own lyrics taste foreign
when it came from the same origin where my brain orbits in
pinpoint my coordinates put my name on the map
don't need lines or vinyl needles to stay on the track
there's 6.5 billion approaches to wisdom and thought
so I self-reflect;
instead of demagogues I listen to God and talk to him direct
walk in his footprints but feel lost with every step
the cause of every breath has me nauseous on the stretch
trying to live for my causes not follow 'em to death
and if your principles beg to differ from mine
it's all perspectives man just consider what's mine
'93 I was one out of four-hundred thousand
in hospital sheets lullabies had me rocking to beats
'96 my father taught me to open my mind
as I pondered my life searching for prophetic rhymes
'99 when I mastered the plan
practiced the craft till I knew it like the back of my hands
now 2010 you can hate it or love it
embrace it or fuck it just save me the judgment
they say one man's trash is another's treasure
some can't fathom this; few can master pleasure
so love what you do if you do what you love
cause in the end all that matter's is this future's for us

1993, I was one out of four-hundred thousand
fetus ready for life being born was my outlet
'96 my mother exposed me to stories to open my mind
as I scoped through the lines to learn my options in life
'99 my fam moved to the states, so new to the place
for the purpose of a better school and food on the plate
now it's a different century the same goals stay true to my heart
but tomorrow's the only day my future can start
I've got dreams and hopes without the means to cope
have the flames inside me but I breathed the smoke
I gotta find my own way, through my own wealth
but I'ma never stock my soul up behind some shelves
I give and earn, live and learn as every second turns
cause all things I've ever had started from within the dirt.
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TheNobleOne
Elite Freestyler
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Posts: 340
Joined: Mon Sep 06, 2010 12:12 pm
Wins: 3

Re: Life

Post by TheNobleOne »

man you got some nice rhymes but you got to step your flow game up. i understand everyone cant afford the best equipment but if you really want people to take you serious you have to have good quality. this wasnt the best. it also helps to add some emotion in your voice instead of sounding like you are reading off the paper. you got the rhymes and the basic concept of the flow but you also need to work on riding the beat better. you gotta get into it and let the people feel that energy. just keep at it and elevate.

holla
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RedRacRecords
Potential Emcee
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Posts: 45
Joined: Fri Jun 04, 2010 4:06 am
Location: NH/MA
Contact:

Re: Life

Post by RedRacRecords »

The instrumental is bringing me back hommie. I aint gonna talk about the mix cuz I'm sure you already know it needs work. Lyrically 100% doap. One thing thou is you missing emotion, the monotone don't work well for you. You also over annunciating all of your words which is deterring me from listening to your lyrics. But keep at that thou.
S.I.Q.

reverbnation.com/SIQisHIPHOP
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