dusty road

[DJNellee303]

I walked down a dusty road today
just beggin for a sip of water
my eyes crusted shut
every time i look up it just gets hotter
found a begger with bigger issues than me
rang out a rock for a drip to quench his dry needs
pressed on ignoring my own dry heeves
opened a drop of blood with a diamond inside
it shined fine and reminded me to stay alive
discarded the set for the next passer by
coughed out the dust i once saw as my life
the sun set as the debris settled behind the sinner's knife

[QwarterZ]

This was different, but I can still get what your saying
or atleast I THINK I can, the whole concept within itself is nice
as if your life has just become another speck of dirt in the wind
and everything is just passing you by, but you don't want to pursue your needs
and rather help someone else, or atleast thats what I got from this?
then again I may have to read it a few more times, either way another nice piece brah

[FlipSide]

Nahh Fereal This Had Some Good Stuff In It. I Liked The Deep Metaphorical Prescence in This For Real...

found a begger with bigger issues than me
rang out a rock for a drip to quench his dry needs

Hmmmm ... Crazy

coughed out the dust i once saw as my life
the sun set as the debris settled behind the sinner's knife

I Really Dont Know Where To Go With These Bars...I Have A Feeling u Couldve Written More In Order To Stitch This One Together Rather Nicely... Good Stuufs Bro

[TheNobleOne]

i think you could have went a bit more in depth but this was pretty deep for what it was. a bit short but it did its job.

[Deciple]

i really like this poem, it wasnt depth or hardcore.. but simple is better, and u had a concept and idea and u painted a picture with words.. and i caught it.. good stuff man