Welcome to Illest Lyrics forum established in 2005.
----
Free Vapes

Dedication

Release your best recorded material and let the world hear your talent. It doesn't matter what level you are on - you will get constructive feedback to increase your skills.

Moderator: Loon E Lou

Forum rules
Embed your soundclick video players with [soundclick]Song Id[/soundclick]. You can also just put [soundclick]Embed Code[/soundclick].

Please go back and fix as many of your old songs as you want.
Post Reply
User avatar
IntrinsicCadence
Hong Kong Phooey
Offline
Posts: 652
Joined: Tue Aug 24, 2010 1:39 am
Wins: 3
Losses: 3
Location: China

Dedication

Post by IntrinsicCadence »

Appreciate some feedback on this one. I know the intro vocals before the first verse are too low, I'll fix that up on the final version, but if you've got anything else to express, let it flow...
Image
Image
User avatar
AbZ The Beast
Elite Freestyler
Offline
Posts: 325
Joined: Wed Aug 11, 2010 11:38 am
Wins: 3
Losses: 5
Location: Chicago
Contact:

Re: Dedication

Post by AbZ The Beast »

another laid back beat, very cool strings..
u kinda remind me of older murs
couple parts you vox need 2 be blended little better
flow is smooth matched the beat great
chorus is alitte out of tune
still very dope track man
THE FINAL SHADE' COMING FALL 2010
www.soundclick.com/abzthebeast
Image
User avatar
IntrinsicCadence
Hong Kong Phooey
Offline
Posts: 652
Joined: Tue Aug 24, 2010 1:39 am
Wins: 3
Losses: 3
Location: China

Re: Dedication

Post by IntrinsicCadence »

what do ya think about getting a female singer to sing the chorus part? I've just been thinking about that possibility.
Image
Image
User avatar
drunken jesus
Supreme Lyricist
Offline
Posts: 4549
Joined: Wed Jan 11, 2006 9:55 am
Wins: 12
Losses: 1
Location: Atlantis
Contact:

Re: Dedication

Post by drunken jesus »

hmm something doesn't sound right to me about the acoustic guitar i dunno if its offkey or just maybe not tuned right, it doesn't sound that bad it just sounds a lil off maybe autotune or a similar plugin would help its also a bit too loud beats nice that just stuck out too me so figured i'd comment, writing and flow on this is really good deliverys on point but you seem to switch inflections with tone(may not be the right way to describe it) a bit? dunno if its intentional or not but even though its good as is i think it might sound better with a bit less of that, i like the lyrics of the hook and see what you were going for but you didn't pull it off well at all this would definitely sound better with female vocals over it

track has the potential to be crazy just mainly needs the hook re-done by a singer so it sounds as polished as the rest of the track
Respect this, specialist, black, testing this and get ya necklace jacked
Your after name scratched up off my guestlist, party freak
You the type of nigga that'll hardly speak unless you spoken to
You throw a cold screw but sober up when I'm approaching you
At the same time we postin two niggaz on that ass
Thats gonna do what they supposed to do the limelight
Snatched away from you because its my night
Killarm' blaze hotter than twilight, you better get ya lines right
Half of these crabs cant even rhyme right
[Killa Sin]

Image
User avatar
complexity
Elevated
Offline
Posts: 9699
Joined: Mon Jan 02, 2006 9:09 am
Wins: 48
Losses: 15
Location: Maine
Contact:

Re: Dedication

Post by complexity »

IntrinsicCadence wrote:what do ya think about getting a female singer to sing the chorus part? I've just been thinking about that possibility.
No doubt.

Lyrically I thought this track was decent.

I don't know if I exactly agree with the message of it. I'm a big fan of soft rock, that's what this came off to me as, not even so much hip hop or more a mix of the two genres.

The ambience of the song was cool though.
Image

Check out our Vapes for great prices.
User avatar
IntrinsicCadence
Hong Kong Phooey
Offline
Posts: 652
Joined: Tue Aug 24, 2010 1:39 am
Wins: 3
Losses: 3
Location: China

Re: Dedication

Post by IntrinsicCadence »

Uppin.. Hopin' to get some more feedback on this one. It's quite likely to make the cut and be on the CD I'm putting together, so I'd like to hear what ya'll think...
Image
Image
User avatar
- Mutual -
Supreme Lyricist
Offline
Posts: 4442
Joined: Wed Apr 09, 2008 2:01 am
Wins: 5
Losses: 11
Location: Dont Live In One

Re: Dedication

Post by - Mutual - »

this was quite good imo good quality on the recording, the singing was alright in all honesty, the lyrics were pretty elevated on this piece you didnt slack on it, well done with this track many, as they said maybe re record and some mixing touch ups which i may be able to help you with could be a dope track, keep this shit comin man
The Eagerness Is Putrid My Fluids Acid Leaves You Vexed Like Black Holes
Your Inept To Correct Stretched Like Fat Folds Perplexed Like Castro
I'm So Tenacious With Rhymes Sensatious So Patient With Lines
While You Fill Your Writtens With Filler And So Stay Vacant In Mind
I'm Amiable But Too Your Haters I Appease Your Arcane Admissions
Dark Games No Vision Your Avarice Lead To Scarred Shamed Partitions
So Callous In His Candor You Have To Coerce For Neglect
For Worse Or For Best I'm Confidant With A Verse Of Respect

!!ILLEST MINDS!!
Image
User avatar
Ambiguous Realm
Army Of Three
Offline
Posts: 3522
Joined: Sun Jan 15, 2006 3:57 pm
Wins: 46
Losses: 14
No Shows: 2
Location: Earth

Re: Dedication

Post by Ambiguous Realm »

wasn't feelin the rhymescheme much, lyrically though it was alright, i was expecting more for some reason, beat was chill, liked it for the most part, definitely a choppy flow imo. felt rocky n out of place in some areas, everything else was koo though
Image
User avatar
Deciple
Elite Freestyler
Offline
Posts: 464
Joined: Sun Jun 21, 2009 2:13 pm

Re: Dedication

Post by Deciple »

Dude i love your flow man... how u rode the beat was sick.. all low but like u said u will fix that up... lyrics are tight.. i didnt like the hook at all.. a female would sound nice on it. these type of beats you can really do damage... way laid back.. you did very well at this...
Image
Philippians 4:13
I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

Psalms 23:4
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
User avatar
Ambiguous Realm
Army Of Three
Offline
Posts: 3522
Joined: Sun Jan 15, 2006 3:57 pm
Wins: 46
Losses: 14
No Shows: 2
Location: Earth

Re: Dedication

Post by Ambiguous Realm »

yes a female would do justice to the hook, i'd like to hear this remade by u again with a few improvements to the lyrics rhyme-wise and flow-wise, a beat like this deserves some lovin
Image
Post Reply

Return to “The Booth”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 8 guests