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Innovative Mentor

Release your best recorded material and let the world hear your talent. It doesn't matter what level you are on - you will get constructive feedback to increase your skills.

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IntrinsicCadence
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Innovative Mentor

Post by IntrinsicCadence »

Let me know how you like this story flow...

Just to let ya'll know, when I record the final draft of this one, I'm gonna change up the ending a bit. Instead of having the character die and transform his life on his death bed, I'm not gonna make it end a bit more abruptly and have a short flow about the current state of hip-hop
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AbZ The Beast
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Re: Innovative Mentor

Post by AbZ The Beast »

intro need 2 be turned up alittle, vox also,beat kinda overwhelms the track ..NASTY FLOW..damn..
i'm have 2 listen 2 this a couple times to pick up the whole story
so far very nice my man..
i suggest maybe turning the tempo down alittle, 2 so your flow just a little,so ppl can follow the story easier.

another solid drop..love that beat
THE FINAL SHADE' COMING FALL 2010
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drunken jesus
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Re: Innovative Mentor

Post by drunken jesus »

flow was crazy on this some minor flubs here and there in it that you can probably hear, delivery seemed to fall off at points when you slowed down the tempo maybe cause you were winded or something? beat was pretty dope just didn't like the rhodes-like sound in it, lyrics flowed well but like abz said i didn't really catch them very well on the first listen not cuz they weren't clear but cuz the rhythm of the flow & beat made it easy listening which isn't really a bad thing
Respect this, specialist, black, testing this and get ya necklace jacked
Your after name scratched up off my guestlist, party freak
You the type of nigga that'll hardly speak unless you spoken to
You throw a cold screw but sober up when I'm approaching you
At the same time we postin two niggaz on that ass
Thats gonna do what they supposed to do the limelight
Snatched away from you because its my night
Killarm' blaze hotter than twilight, you better get ya lines right
Half of these crabs cant even rhyme right
[Killa Sin]

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complexity
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Re: Innovative Mentor

Post by complexity »

Once again having that Gorillaz, Deltron 3030 sound.

I've got to say of the three tracks that you posted today this one impressed me the most on a lyrical level (which is what I feel I'm most apt to be critical of) is this one.

Soul Reflection | Dedication

The flow fell off half way through the track for some reason. You need a dope engineer to balance out the sound on a few of these tracks. I wouldn't worry about that too much though because that's all in the growing process. In a year, I doubt you will have any similar problems.
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IntrinsicCadence
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Re: Innovative Mentor

Post by IntrinsicCadence »

Uppin... Wanted to thank the three of you for you real solid feedback on this one. All three of you have dropped some feedback that is truly helpful as I think about re-recording this, which I am about to do. This is the kinda feedback that can really aid improvement. Hope more cats will give this kinda real feedback to drops.
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K KiLLaH
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Re: Innovative Mentor

Post by K KiLLaH »

Your style is catchy as fuck and goes well with this beat. U need to clarify ur vocals tho ya engineer needs ta step it up especially with ur style u need a hardworking engineer. other than that id say it was pretty dope
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Re: Innovative Mentor

Post by - Mutual - »

man that is a pretty dope track the flow was pretty sick i have to say had that fast then slow but still faster than normal, and the best went well with that touch on it, yeah the lyrics were quite good aswell really kept the flow going consistent keep this shit comin man and i'm about to pm you see if i can help you out :)
The Eagerness Is Putrid My Fluids Acid Leaves You Vexed Like Black Holes
Your Inept To Correct Stretched Like Fat Folds Perplexed Like Castro
I'm So Tenacious With Rhymes Sensatious So Patient With Lines
While You Fill Your Writtens With Filler And So Stay Vacant In Mind
I'm Amiable But Too Your Haters I Appease Your Arcane Admissions
Dark Games No Vision Your Avarice Lead To Scarred Shamed Partitions
So Callous In His Candor You Have To Coerce For Neglect
For Worse Or For Best I'm Confidant With A Verse Of Respect

!!ILLEST MINDS!!
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RedRacRecords
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Re: Innovative Mentor

Post by RedRacRecords »

100% on the flow and lyrics. Only thing I can say is to turn the vocals up about 1-2.5 DB. Very well thought out and put together perfectly to this instrumental. Big ups.
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