The MC against the Rapper

[Duke]

You got the conscious brother, who can quote from Malcolm X to L. Ron Hubbard/
Whose raps pack less violence than American Idol’s Ruben Studdard/

He ain’t fucking with roughneck rawhide, he’d rather go for some Pharcyde/
Wearing glasses so the hood clowns him and calls him four-eyes/

The kid does his own thing and keeps his hair more activator-free than Don King/
Wearing dreads or Afros alone in his despair, calling thuggish brothers zombies/

Wants to be a Zulu warrior but works as a Manhattan bicycle courier/
One day someone hands him a flier for a brand new rhyming tournament/

Meanwhile in Queens there’s the dude who will stop your breathing in a minute/
A real killer molded in Young Jeezy’s spitting image/

He’d rather sell bars, gravitate to the track and abdicate from this trap/
But the reality is nothing but coke out here is paying him jack/

He sells vials of freebase in public tenements, paying with weed for studio time when he can get it kid/
Posted on blocks and when he ain’t serving fiends writing endlessly/
One day he’ll write his way out the nightmare with this pen and ink/
That is if he don’t get killed first by fake friends or real enemies

It’s lab time for both, Manhattan pen stabbing, chicken-scratching in Staten/
Both rubbing the lamp to make it happen with that lyrical Aladdin/

The courier cat drops lines like imperial acrobatics/
The thug drops those dope game mathematics facts

Both show up to the club feeling fly but getting them butterflies/
Catch each others’ eyes in the hallways and realize it’s do or die/

The time comes for that open title recital between rivals.
You know what happened next? Guess what? I do.

[K KiLLaH]

tighten and get a handle on ur flow, plus don't go crazy and fall outta rhymescheme

[FlipSide]

nice way of setting the story off dude... everything was on point but it seems u got the same issue i got on audio but in written...U DID NOT FINISH THIS... Dammit does the courier or the gangster win? otherwise u got some writing skill...short storied kinda drop here exept it was more like a chapter.... i like ur writing style tho... interesting...another thing, it seems u start off a lil slow then it picks up.. then u cut it off.. i think this could be a nice drop tho 1

[Duke]

Appreciate the criticism and praise. I definitely need to work on developing my concept into a full song. I think rhyming is like chess. The first move that looks good should not always be the one you go for. Some deliberation never hurt.