Appllication Denied

[Mr.Yoyo]

http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/horoc ... 15871.html


This feeling does anything but soothe and the mood stalks
Loneliness incurable by movies and group talks
For solutions I’m a blank board. Nothing to do with the new chalk
Life’s a dance battle and my only move is the moonwalk

My wall of defenses withers too soon.
Looking at the sky for God as it glitters….new moon.
Knowing sin isn’t cool fools try to win with loose rules.
As I’m staring down myself in this interview room.

We love to judge images of others not reflections
Resume’s presented, hopes for a good impression………are squashed
The lesson is that if I stop pretendin
Weaknesses show. Next mirror…not interested

I’m that abandoned lost ship in the sea
Ravaged by the kraken and ripped at the seams
Eaten alive by nature….the most vicious of teeth
Finishing me. Finally at my fingertips…peace



Low self esteem is a danger to the mind
Get in range and then it strikes in several stages til u die
It all starts from the horror and pain that’s in your eyes
U relied on ur acceptance….application is denied

[DaPrince]

this was another dope drop bro, the intro was my favorite part

This feeling does anything but soothe and the mood stalks
Loneliness incurable by movies and group talks
For solutions I’m a blank board. Nothing to do with the new chalk
Life’s a dance battle and my only move is the moonwalk


especially that last line. you had the multis throughout and the topic was another deep one. it seems like you're pretty consistent so keep droppin and ill keep reading em.

[Mr.Yoyo]

thnx man uppin

[K KiLLaH]

nice is this a song or a poem? It was well written does it flow well over beats? did you write it to one? if not you should start this can reach out to both genders as far as hip hop goes and thats something a lot of new artists fail toaccomplish during their early stages

[Mr.Yoyo]

i doubt i'll put it to a beat....and i think it flows idk...haha didn't realli check i dont write to beats...

-- Sun Mar 07, 2010 11:46 am --

no more feed?

[complexity]

Real ill. The vocabulary and the metaphors were excellent. The rhyme schemes were solid as well. The combining of two words and one word while rhyming, while still coming off naturally, was impressive, but the power of this set of bars was what stood out to me.

"I’m that abandoned lost ship in the sea
Ravaged by the kraken and ripped at the seams
Eaten alive by nature….the most vicious of teeth
Finishing me. Finally at my fingertips…peace"

Great wordplay.