feedback cypher

[ugly]

drop ur quickies and the man after you leave a quick feed

EDIT*** i like this idea...

if anyone drops a verse in the cypher section that they feel is exceptional, they can drop it here for feedback..

in order to drop a verse u must feed the person above u

also, list the cypher thread the verse is originally from

-precise

[ugly]

Im trying to pretend-to-save myself as this renegade
gettin ahead-of-days light lears-away from piers-but-they
try to seperate the measure-gaved we'll die accept-ya-age
wit nothin-left-2-spray u lose it all except-the-fame
assualt heaven in seven-days at age eleven Iv severed legs
searching for better days, murking four together'd gays

[precise]

i thought this thread would catch on quick... anyway ill start

excellent keystyle, forced, mainly because the last rhyming word stayed the same while the rest changed

Im trying to pretend-to-save myself as this renegade
gettin ahead-of-days light lears-away from piers-but-they
try to seperate the measure-gaved we'll die accept-ya-age

i love when people get creative in the rhymescheme, but in this case i thought it threw the flow off, after the little switch up u threw in there yer reading with a different rhythem in mind n it all seems a little odd,

overall all tho, excellent keystyle








like u, i also floor-plenty, fuck 4:20.. i dont smoke i just pour-remy
soldiar for illest, i go wherever the corps-send-me leavin a board-empty
i leave casualties on "big blocks" more-heavy than recession affects on places that store-hemi's
been there.. done that.. got the t-shirts, then got mad n tore-many

"u wont like me when im angry" haha call me mr.banner
i played tonsil hockey b4 i "hit the boards".. mind ur sisters-manners


http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/multi ... ml?style=2

[complexity]

Very Illest positive drop. I'm feeling it.

The rhymes were cool as well.

----------------------------------------------------

A battle I did with someone.

I've led a life-of-aggravation, tonight-is-affirmation
I'm going to fight-for-admiration, I invite-the-agglutination
you don't like-the-facts-ur-facin, the vipers-back-and-ragin
I'd like-to-smash-ur-face-in with mic-assassination
strike-with-ghatz-while-sprayin, I snipe-attack-and-waste-him
with twice-the-wrath-of-satan, Christ-is-back-to-save-him
the knife-is-packed-for-slayin, dice-him-fast-amazin
how I swipe-each-gash-while-raisin a spike to slice-and-slash-like-jason
pipin-nitrous-gas-in-basins to lite-his-ass-for-hatin
the nicest-tracks-Im-makin, the righteous-path-is-changin
I ignite-ur-aspirations, despite-ur-fabrications
I'm writin-fascinatin, typin-fast-and-blazin to excite-imaginations

[Celfmade]

multis were sick as fucc! complexity was good too
i liked how it all fit in cuz alot of times i see complex words that really dont fit in with the verse or story but this was put together well....good shit man.

a cypher i thought was good enough to get voted on...


the lesson defenseless Celf will kill MC's beggin for lessons/
ya need help to come up with lyrics helpless ya left with/
try n figure out enemies you never met up with/
battle rappin on keys fingers forgin certificates of a death wish/til ya mind left with no sense ya brain sencin ya senceless/
shittin on weak mcs? ya weaker, porcelain is the only thing u shit on in excess/ dont tear up theres hope for you - the fence is endless/ there will always be mcs that thinkin they bestest/
truth in fact is Celfmade will ruin ya n leave ya friends with/
a suicide note, cuz when they read this ya death will make since then/


http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/last- ... 34-30.html

[Zerostatqu0]

peace. a thanksgiving feast increased indian cuttin their hand on the blade, the elite want us all enslaved, so crave a way outta the maze, i amaze and shock, sometimes starin at the sky as time clock, tick tock a mockery sign up for prisonplanet.tv, youll see what i see, im the original conf to the p, a true proph could disappear like jimma hoff, you never know cause i dont stop i dont shut up unless i agree, revolutionarys marchin towards forward like a basketball postion. dont care? believe me you will listen. see the atmosphere catch fire asteroids glisten, but thats all made up to scare beware haarps debate. i educate myself selfeducate your health. haarp needs a tarp before it transforms into somethin dangerous like a ranked up magicarp. i know its not a game it takes a beast of a man to survive and live life live on the dope show. like high grow on your computer. i see the future, they can set amospheres on fire fuck a gun i want a plasma cannon dont you want one too like nick cannons wife. its life is the price and im well aware. i dont buy into any terrorist scares, but we gotta the majority, fuck authority thats corrupt. yo introducing myself to the cypher and thats sup,.

[QwarterZ]

That was purdy cool structure needs work
I kept slippin' a line lower LoL! then I was like what?
either way spoke some truth! tho' I'm offended by the first lines....*sigh*

It's a fact that I gave depth the weight
pushin' more rhymes to make the levees break
mind of a dreamer rotten rhyme schemer
leavin' it before it's time, open bag'd ceasars
Hello all it's me again
starin' at you in a beat up lens
the visuals take me lower
till I can smell her vicious odor
Hip Hop dyin' so I must resusitate her
I pushed down on her cups durin' labor
sayin' push baby we gotta get back
their he come's as she starts to relax
kickin' truer facts cut the imbilicle
if I spit the same would it get typical?
so I step it up and try to evolve
get all of mama's kids to get involved

idk? LOL!

[Quix]

pretty basic flow, content. NJo t bad...nothing special though!!



Mah Indescretions a blessin, I'm the Illest lets here you Confess-It
cuz you fags look 'lost in the game' like disqualified Contestants
you nigguhs in trouble now, like get to Detention; I'm Getting Frisky
you nigguhz hattin on Quix, cuz I 'Changed dah Style' n started Textin Tricky!
i remain dah same, wid Exceptional Credentals, so now Yah fah show, Dead!!
cuz i'll have you seein 'Nothing but Hazzards' like Ambitions Vote in the award Thread

[QwarterZ]

^^^^^That was purdy cool
diggin' the style you used in it....
multi's were on point and the punches were dope
got a nice flow to it aswell....

*ahem* well I'm back....

Bringin' Heaven's flow fuckin' it with hell's rubbers
I'm here to investigate, dissect it's cell structure
stem cells and melted butter, a pair of tongs, a scalpel
beyond helpful, I'm tryna compose the song n it's value
swallow valium yea I'm stealin Em's style n vocals
with a vial of photo's stack'd to the ceilin' wild n hopeful
searchin' for the man responisble for dope n crack lines
rope, no slack, tied so I could leave the Zodiac signs
I'ma get away with murder and leave the scene of murder
obscene blurter, screwed up lines loose and keepin' inertia
they won't come out, so I snipe em in the Washington park
slash thru, moshing in dark, play hot potato tossing your heart.....

k that's all I got....LoL

[Arvincible]

real nice man i like the flow to it

swallow valium yea I'm stealin Em's style n vocals
with a vial of photo's stack'd to the ceilin' wild n hopeful
searchin' for the man responisble for dope n crack lines
rope, no slack, tied so I could leave the Zodiac signs


^^ my fave bit


I like how ur connecting some words man, its enjoyable to read.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

my turn


yo check it, I'm the type to demolish foes
with a polished flow, keep it acknowledged though
I got the solid throws, pr whatever u wanna call it so,
applaud it hoes when it leaves u appauled and stoked,
I call it dope.. arv will maul ur throats
and have u blokes chokin like u swallowed smoke...
im never stalled or broke all mah calls u quote
and same goes to whatever i scrawled or wrote
on a wall or scroll i leave yall enthralled and hopin
writin for me is like how i ball opponents leave em fallen, broken..
and no matter which way i draw it open...
you bitches will always be on mah balls and scrotum..

[QwarterZ]

im never stalled or broke all mah calls u quote
and same goes to whatever i scrawled or wrote
on a wall or scroll i leave yall enthralled and hopin
writin for me is like how i ball opponents leave em fallen, broken

^^^^^^^^^^^that stuck out to me just cuz it came out dope
the flow was on point for the most part...really kept the ball rollin' with this one
diggin' the word usage, vocab n whatnot....keep it up


*******I'ma Get on My Joe Budden********

I started hating whose in my inner circle
so whoevers in it gets hatred in a circle
neverendin', never seein' no comebacks
no love tracks, no daps, no hugs, handslaps
fluck the lifestyle y'all is gettin' used to
I rather stay away from contact, influence who?
stay away from contact until all flu thru...
straight out that window, onto a brighter future
sure the horizon's far, but how am I gon' lose ya?
if you ain't on track doin' your thing fine
I trip over my sentence, but keep touring lines
reviewing thoughts like I'm the one who thought that
brought back so much, somehow I musta lost track...?
nah not that...never! I always knew what my thoughts had
why be cliche? I knew if I spoke out they'd bitch
they'd get mad, they never knew bout savings
they think shit falls out the sky, yea you smart...
no...I'm serious.....for real homie...yea you are!
fluck it I ain't gon' explain no more to myself....

[eMCee Havic]

neverendin', never seein' no comebacks
no love tracks, no daps, no hugs, handslaps

that shit was dope sounded fresh
alot of the other shit fell off but i liked the verse for sure. keep it come QZ


smokes sherm hung out wit worms the scurge of the earth
spit a verse to kings and took riches without a worth
insanly i see forth coming M.D on the path to greatness
my placement in the races is number 1 unless i break quik
im anceintly known as the best to press the micraphone
i'm tight and prone to entice ya dome when my price is shown

[Haz]

closing Line outshined the Rest of ur Verse.

We Are , Yeah I Said It We Are ..
You Could Spot More Then 3 Stars Holding Up Each Bar,
They Say I Reach far, Them Dudes Lack Everything,
Lack Cards , Wack Bars They All Lack Everything ..
N My Words Are Past Herbs Rising So They Killin Ya ..
I Move Out The Best Check Tha Smooth I'm Str8 Dillin Ya..
This Is How I'm Stillin Ya, Viowna Written Down Favor,
This My Grip It Now Let It Pow .. See Ya Later ..
I Hustle Towns Fuck Standing Ground i'll Never Stay Trapd,
I'm Struggle Bound Stuck Handing Down What Forever Stays Black,
Yeah I'm Walking By Gunnaz,Sick Spittaz .. Ripped Heros ..Figgah.. Hazard Gun Um Down Purple Till I Paint a Darker Picha..

[Quix]

YOU SUCK ASSSS ^

[~Symbolikull~]

watch my marker getcha! cuz im changin ur^^ price like bob barker mista!!!
he think he a mr carter spitta, lol he'd beat the portrait to paint a harder picture!!!
changed his name to ambition now he can write a smarter scripture???
i was gone for over a yr dawg n u still spit a writen worse than my boys retarded sister!!!
watch em rip carve n slit ya, u cant even get to my frontline b4 my archers get ya,
vi tip muh fucka were target gettas, pass u to my homie he'll let the cartridge hit ya,.....

damn homie i gotta stop lol


anyways ur shit wasnt that bad haz... i liked the last half or so more so than the first cuz the first half bout tore up my torso lol jk

keep doin u....