mr. hip hop.....eh itwas a poem/verse...

[mz_yella]

deeper and deeper you slide oh so deep
you my dirty lil secert i aint tryna keep
your words hit deep in my soul
and after we finshed i got that after glow
you switch up on me and im like im bout to blow
cant get enough so im feenin for that aftershow
i can feel you vibin thru me when you aint around
going whereever you take me cause i wanna be down
you the first one i turn to when i wanna ooh ahh sound
thought i was stronger until you knocked me on the ground
this is my ode to you cause you the only one who stays true
ima ride or die for you cause you my boo
hip hop i think i could die for you.....

[MesaR]

This was alright, pretty simple rhyme scheme it was just too basic all around, keep it up though.

[Haz]

deeper and deeper you slide oh so deep
you my dirty lil secert i aint tryna keep


Mhmmm i Like the way That Sounds Lmao

your words hit deep in my soul
and after we finshed i got that after glow
you switch up on me and im like im bout to blow
cant get enough so im feenin for that aftershow

I'm feeling this ..


i can feel you vibin thru me when you aint around
going whereever you take me cause i wanna be down
you the first one i turn to when i wanna ooh ahh sound
thought i was stronger until you knocked me on the ground


Word LoL Reminding Me Of That Neyo/Keri Hilson Song.


this is my ode to you cause you the only one who stays true
ima ride or die for you cause you my boo
hip hop i think i could die for you.....

Aiight good Closer, Die for Me instead i Like How U Talk Dirty lmfao.


Anyways. Rhyme scheme wise This was simple, u Had one rhyming word basically at the end of each line, But the thing is.. U Painted a Picture, u Grabbed Me with a Vibe... a Sexy/ Seducing vibe ..
i Think you can write n u got A lot of Potential, Keep dropping n Soon Enough ur gunna start growing in different directions.

Anyways Good shit in my Opinion

Stay Up N Keep Dropping