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risky

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PhD
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risky

Post by PhD »

too risky,
I spiked my punches 200 poof whiskey,
courtesy of Jethro from the foothills of Starkville Mississippi, private stock no label,
got ya gulping the stuff straight out the ladle, at the party guarding the table,
punch drunk tipsy, you thought you could whip me, oops somebody done slipped you a mickey,
still boozing, understand yo confusion, I ain’t no illusion but I’m still tricky,
gifted, lyrically nifty, finish you off quickly, in a hurry in a jiffy, swiftly
got ya hallucinating images the swirling colors are trippy
told you the proposition to oppose me was iffy
help a brotha perfect it!
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Mass Effex
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Re: risky

Post by Mass Effex »

Flow's really choopy, that's something you need to work on. Multies could have been better, some didn't match up like they should have. Vocab's decent and the concept was simlple, but not too simple, just no real substance. Overall it was alright, just keep working hard, keep droppin' and you'll progress more and more.
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Re: risky

Post by PhD »

thanks man.
help a brotha perfect it!
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Re: risky

Post by Riggz »

HA!! I actually could hear this being spit... No offense, but I could hear Nicki Manaj spittin' this with her silly ass. I'm actually diggin' this style.

"punch drunk tipsy, you thought you could whip me, oops somebody done slipped you a mickey" -- yea, that's some shit she'd say LOL!

Keep droppin man.
ILL Flow - thieves-vt15638.html
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REBIRTH of the FIGHT CLUB... Say it with me!
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PhD
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Re: risky

Post by PhD »

thanks man. how do i make my multies pop without being so wordy?
help a brotha perfect it!
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Re: risky

Post by PhD »

thanks...like my other drop. Help me rise.
help a brotha perfect it!
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Re: risky

Post by Haz »

too risky,
I spiked my punches 200 poof whiskey,
courtesy of Jethro from the foothills of Starkville Mississippi,

I Like that.


got ya gulping the stuff straight out the ladle, at the party guarding the table,
punch drunk tipsy, you thought you could whip me, oops somebody done slipped you a mickey,


This is a line you need to just break the fuck up like budds lol and rethink the whole shyt.



still boozing, understand yo confusion, I ain’t no illusion but I’m still tricky,
gifted, lyrically nifty, finish you off quickly, in a hurry in a jiffy, swiftly


finish you off quickly in a jiffy. would sound better



got ya hallucinating images the swirling colors are trippy
told you the proposition to oppose me was iffy


Aiiight..
ok Drop.


you Potential Like ThaOne Said ..
So Stay Up N Keep Dropping
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- Mutual -
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Re: risky

Post by - Mutual - »

some nice lines here maybe need to sort the layout out a bit choppy in places but that could be fixed with the layout pretty nice drop just wook on some things here and there
The Eagerness Is Putrid My Fluids Acid Leaves You Vexed Like Black Holes
Your Inept To Correct Stretched Like Fat Folds Perplexed Like Castro
I'm So Tenacious With Rhymes Sensatious So Patient With Lines
While You Fill Your Writtens With Filler And So Stay Vacant In Mind
I'm Amiable But Too Your Haters I Appease Your Arcane Admissions
Dark Games No Vision Your Avarice Lead To Scarred Shamed Partitions
So Callous In His Candor You Have To Coerce For Neglect
For Worse Or For Best I'm Confidant With A Verse Of Respect

!!ILLEST MINDS!!
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Re: risky

Post by PhD »

thanks homies. Imma work on developing cadence/beat. that should help me with the choppiness/wordiness.

Thanks for the constructive criticism.
help a brotha perfect it!
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