My attempt at spoken word...

[JonTheJournalist]

I started walkin.../
began joggin ...at a pace that represents a state of alarm/
the rays are too warm, ocean is overflowin/
artists are like hiroshima...'no more growin'/
so i ran, and began to sprint/
capitalism's not confined to this/
I'm recognized as an outcast, who shouts back/
on a path to knock the system off its' tracks/
an' i notice i'm lost ...but i haven't lost at all/
i create creative ways to back a fall/
i'm runnin out of breath, with each and every step/
decending to new lows, underground depths/
with more debts, than credits/
the critics don't represent it/
so i steppd back to rep. rap, f*ck blowin up like meth labs/
the truest form of HipHop...
IN MY SOUL is where i kept that/
and it cant be taken/
rather be 6 ft. under, than above and fakin/
i'm makin 'sense' rather than 'cents'/
this 10 year storm has left me drenched/
'eroded the white off my picket fence/
so i clenched a fist to pound a dent/
in the system, with intent to bring it down!/
if the system 'fail' with no one around,/
an' hit the ground! would it still make a sound?/
I'm sure it would, if u understood exactly, its' true nature,/
its behavior, its' demeanor, its' similarities to a razor/
cuttin the skin we're livin in, with a such a livid grin/
to bleed us dry of our true selves until we mimick them!/

...just a quick thought, i know its kinda lacking a backbone, but ...fb wanted

[Glamtrash]

It's simple and predictable, and I wouldn't necessarily call it a poem (hence why it's been moved here), but you're doin you, and that's what really counts. I'd like to see you broach another subject. I'll be able to give you better fb when I read more of your shit.

Anyway, good shit, keep droppin.

[ScottJames]

this was more of a freestyle IMO...
wasnt bad... kinda simple
flowed relatively well...
good job Jon!