PO 9 SCOPIN ON ME....lookin for feedback PLZ

[SubstanZ]

[align=center]If you see 'em holla its the cops, its the cops. They scopin up on my block\
Po 9 is knowin im holdin glocks. Im wanted for some crimes like flowin rocks\
But im neva showin spots. they cant find my stash I copped my ass a shock box\
my chevy drop top is top notch. I got hip hop listenin to my ink drop\
you got somethin to say i make clips pop.I reversed the shit call it flip flop\
time flys by when my fist rocks. you getta firm fist full of gripped glocks\
The glocks cocked back to drop cats. gettin ready to pop hollow tip shots back\
you wont be shot in the back. call me hitman when i kill men i cop pro stacks\

My minds lyrical art is abstract. people hear the rhymes, they feel em and thats that\
My tounges a mack that click clacks. the clips packed, SubSTanZ spit crack, Yea
the kids back\
So ima just puff up on my sess blunts, mix it with the best dust, and watch the rest front\
My fist caress guns and leave rappers in cardiac arrest like i had they fuckin chest cuffed\
I set up to joox gangsta's for they cake. for gods sake they just some goddamn wankstas and fake\
I create and set stakes and scare cats until they skin chafe and they hair stand straight\
Next i shake em down with my hurtful verbal earthquake making fault lines so just call me a verse quake\
Yea dawg 'cause my words spit sick shit and hit homes quick in one of the fuckin worst ways\[/align]

[Haz]

Alright ..


I See You Sorta Gotta Grip On Multis .. Honestly .. I Don't Like Your Whole Concept , All I See Is 'Glocks , Rocks And I'ma Gangstas Yall Wankstas'
Be More Creative Man .. N Try Workin With Some More Complex Word's When You Spit .. I Mean Honestly I Dont Even Have Room Like That To Speak .. But I'm Givin U Constructive Feed That Might Steer U In The Right Direction ..
You Need To Find Topics Man , As a Writer Find Yourself .. Fuck This Gun's Drugs Shit.. I Don't Care If You Live In The Hood If You Do This Shit...
I Want Creativity .. Give Us Reason To Seperate You From The Rest Understand?..


Try Messin around With Punchlines , Don't Become a Punchline Rapper Though..
Maybe Wordplay Will Help You Out a Lil... Put More Thought Into Your Written But I Mean Don't Goooo Crazy... Just Try To Mess With More Creative Topics Man..


You Have A Multi Feel , I Felt This Was Way To Plain Though ...
You Can Go Beyond This.. This Is Honest Feed Homie Hope It Helps You In Some Way ..

Keep Droppin I Wanna See You Grow ..

[Glamtrash]

Try to tell a story instead of being so 'hood. The fact that you can rhyme is nothing. You're not 50 cent. Show us what you're really capable of.

[- Mutual -]

50 cent digg i like it^

i liked this nice sorta showin us wot u can do
the flow was okay a lil choppy in places IMO
but yeah like all them have said the guns'n'drugs is fake shyt
u dont need dat be unique come upw ith sumin dope
keep'em comin

[Karmuh]

word..i agree with everyone else that posted in here..its all played out..this is a writtens area, theres room for creativity...throw some new punchlines here and there, wordplay, dope rhyme schemes and add some complexity..but not too much is case theres some dumb people here (no offense to anyone)..

i'm not taking anything away from your peice so dont take it that way, do you...but just giving some constructive criticism