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MagicMark
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I'm Out...

Post by MagicMark »

...

seeing people talking shit, it mirrors past problems
the way i used to be, but dawgs im PAST squabblin'
i say this with respect, do i gotta remind you's that..
that aint nobody your tellin' die.. theres humans behind the av's
its took a while to realise, but i've finally aligned the facts
so im out of all this bullshit.. my voice resigned to black
just recently i got heated and decided to write back
but i shouldn't fight that, i should stay on the right track
we all here for the same reason, to spit, write and elevate together
but lately it seems to be a contest, who can hate this better?..
im trying to make this better.. i got a talent to use
so is bullshittin' showing it off?.. no.. that talents misused..
i wanna be the dude who's cool with every cat
not the fool who fueds over every spat
puts hate views on every track, who stews over every crack
every angry thought is a line thats jus' wasted
so after every post, i'll wonder if theres a better rhyme to replace it
we cant let opinions get in the way, cant have our vision be fazed
if theres a contract to a better mind frame, i'll grab a pen and sign all the papers
this is speech from the heart, seeking the stars
we all joined, got our parts, we've been a clique from the start
so if you wanna battle.. then i'll try and eat ya head off..
but i'll also be the dude, who'll advise and help ya get ya best, dawg
it's taken time to realise, i aint a veteran, 'smokin' kids'
im average in a real way... funny thing is i think i'll get better for knowin' it
i got a style that aint gonna fit, even if i wanted it..
alot of kids are actin tough.. well im ready to show the script..
im white, i type "gangster", i prolly think im better than i am
i do wish i wrote more potent, instead of all this trash..
i wanna look back and think i made a difference, no oppurtunity i havent taken
hope i gained strangers thanks, respect and admiration..
so really.. im done beefin', done speakin i'll of young' people..
without a doubt.. give ya boy a shout..... im out..

chea..
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Haz
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Post by Haz »

Lmfao..

My Nigga This Was Iffy As Hell,

You Tryna Dipp Off illesT?..
Tryna Put Cha Self Down Lmao
Tryna jus Vent

Where U Was Headin With This Nigga...


its took a while to realise, but i've finally aligned the facts
so im out of all this bullshit.. my voice resigned to black
just recently i got heated and decided to write back
but i shouldn't fight that, i should stay on the right track
we all here for the same reason, to spit, write and elevate together
but lately it seems to be a contest, who can hate this better?..
im trying to make this better.. i got a talent to use
so is bullshittin' showing it off?.. no.. that talents misused..
i wanna be the dude who's cool with every cat
not the fool who fueds over every spat
puts hate views on every track, who stews over every crack
every angry thought is a line thats jus' wasted
so after every post, i'll wonder if theres a better rhyme to replace it
we cant let opinions get in the way, cant have our vision be fazed
if theres a contract to a better mind frame, i'll grab a pen and sign all the papers
this is speech from the heart, seeking the stars
we all joined, got our parts, we've been a clique from the start
so if you wanna battle.. then i'll try and eat ya head off..
but i'll also be the dude, who'll advise and help ya get ya best, dawg
it's taken time to realise, i aint a veteran, 'smokin' kids'


Thought This Part Of oThe Script Was The Best...
Seemed Like U Was Puttin ya Aggression Into ya Piece

You Went Hard though..
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MagicMark
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Post by MagicMark »

lol... just typin' what i wanted to... lol...

pretty much just ventin'... fuck with it or don't..

thanks for the feed haz..
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Brah-Vo
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Post by Brah-Vo »

I think dudes are turned off because of the length of some of your pieces (i admit, at times i can't be bothered to read alot of your stuff because it's long), but if people take the chance they'd discover alot of depth in your writing.

I for one respect the fact you can stay on topic without having to force a rhyme. Rapping is such a limited medium and for you to have acquired a skill such as that is dope .
This was deep and had truth as well. Pretty much told the whole site off too.
Dope work.
Fave bars:

i say this with respect, do i gotta remind you's that..
that aint nobody your tellin' die.. theres humans behind the av's

every angry thought is a line thats jus' wasted
so after every post, i'll wonder if theres a better rhyme to replace it

Both hit it straight home for me.
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Tempest
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Post by Tempest »

Dope man, you have a real laid back style, just throwing sentences together and making them rhyme, almost like you're just talking to someone. That's a good skill right there and it benefits delivery a lot.

Some lines were pretty passable but a lot hit hard, and got your point across, letting the readers see in your perspective.

These bars stood out to me the most:

every angry thought is a line thats jus' wasted
so after every post, i'll wonder if theres a better rhyme to replace it

it's taken time to realise, i aint a veteran, 'smokin' kids'
im average in a real way... funny thing is i think i'll get better for knowin' it

That last line i copied was very true and almost serves as a mantra in my own life, so I was really feeling that. Keep at it, I've seen some hot shit from you.
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