Side Trackin`

1 !LL B!tch · Post by **1 !LL B!tch** » Fri Jan 16, 2009 3:09 pm

I'm fresh, !LL, sons wanna test skill... take a rest, chill
Best Still...... my name !Buzzin for no cost! like a !Free x pill!
Hurtin jakes, the type of chick to put guns in a person face
Murkin snakes !Swiftly push a kid out! like a !Birthin race!

See my dawgs love it, problly a nut the only time yall bust it
I'm raw fuck it, !Calmly announce death! like the !SAW puppet!
Step in hills and a strap, I'm killin a rap, as I'm revealin a trap
I start peelin a cap, I'm !Getin it all out! like I'm !Kneelin ta crap!

The truth I sold you... learn from me don't let a goof mold you
My proof total, !Suportin lines of The Future! Like !Boost Mobile!
Buck through the thinest joke, off the top now cuz my pen is broke
I spin this dope, haters !Get the backhand! like a !Tennis stroke!

- !LL B!tch -

Kurse · Post by **Kurse** » Fri Jan 16, 2009 6:24 pm

Not a bad Lil verse. You have a clean written structure, few punchlines seem slightly rough around the edges, but other than that...the way it reads out, it almost seems like it'd make a good audio if you were to ever record it.

You have a real urban swagger about your writing, which I really like. You to see too many femcee's push off a grimey style like that. So it's actually really entertaining to see that.

Definately keep droppin ma!

Phenom · Post by **Phenom** » Fri Jan 16, 2009 11:28 pm

^What he said...I aint feelin the Exclamations on your Punchlines...We KNOW it's a punchline..Well, we SHOULD know..

Good Sh!t !ll B!tch

Haz · Post by **Haz** » Sat Jan 17, 2009 1:13 am

I'm fresh, !LL, sons wanna test skill... take a rest, chill
Best Still...... my name !Buzzin for no cost! like a !Free x pill!
Hurtin jakes, the type of chick to put guns in a person face
Murkin snakes !Swiftly push a kid out! like a !Birthin race!

you Could of Word a Few Things Better... X Pill Line Was Aight
Second Punch Was Aiight 2, Didnt Feel This Bar had Any Hays..

See my dawgs love it, problly a nut the only time yall bust it
I'm raw fuck it, !Calmly announce death! like the !SAW puppet!
Step in hills and a strap, I'm killin a rap, as I'm revealin a trap
I start peelin a cap, I'm !Getin it all out! like I'm !Kneelin ta crap!

Stay Away From The "Bust It And Nut" Affiliation.. Concepts Worn The Fuck Out
Saw Puppet shit Was Amusin.. you Maintained Multis...

Lmfao @ Kneelin Ta Crap... you Gross Bastard... Nah i'm Playin
I Feel Like U Tiein Simple Shit Togetha In Ya Punches...

The truth I sold you... learn from me don't let a goof mold you
My proof total, !Suportin lines of The Future! Like !Boost Mobile!
Buck through the thinest joke, off the top now cuz my pen is broke
I spin this dope, haters !Get the backhand! like a !Tennis stroke!

Wasnt Feelin Tha Boost Mobile Line... The Second set Of multis R Kind Of Off..

Get the backhand! like a !Tennis stroke!

Lmaooooo Funny As Fuck!....
Last Line Was The Best Line Of Ya Drop...

I Mean I See U Got Alot Of Punches & Punch Set Up's.. U Jus Gotta Work On a Few Things.. Holla At Me... 1

MagicMark · Post by **MagicMark** » Sat Jan 17, 2009 7:57 am

you have a similar style to the way i do things on other sites, only with a few more multis..

not a big fan of some of these punches, the multis seemed to be the star of this piece..

give me a shout if you want a collabo..

Philosopher Stone · Post by **Philosopher Stone** » Tue Jan 20, 2009 12:12 am

im diggin the first set of multis
one ill bitch hahaha thats appropriate
u deffinitely got some sick shit goin on

check it...
http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/off-t ... 12066.html

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