Welcome to Illest Lyrics forum established in 2005.
----
Free Vapes

OUT ON A LIMB

Drop your written rhymes in one of the largest collections of original rhymes on the internet. The feedback in our Written Rhymes section will simply amaze you.

Moderators: Loon E Lou, Enlightend

Post Reply
User avatar
Borat
Lazy Ass
Offline
Posts: 802
Joined: Mon Mar 06, 2006 10:25 am
Wins: 1
Losses: 2
No Shows: 1

OUT ON A LIMB

Post by Borat »

Maybe I can get some feed on this in here. it's poetry but... I'm looking for honest feed. help if you can...


Between my house and the end of the street
Is a journey, four front yards, three fences
And two bus stops away lived Kenneth.
Now Kenneth, he always used to say
“I once watched my mother die on this lawn.â€
Top
User avatar
Cee4
Rhyme Dominator
Offline
Posts: 2846
Joined: Thu May 31, 2007 9:52 pm
Wins: 58
Losses: 16

Post by Cee4 »

poetry is not really my thing but i thought this was pretty good. cant really give u much advice but you definitly had good imagery goin on here
Image
Image
Top
Post Reply

Return to “Written Rhymes”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Google [Bot] and 4 guests