Thanks illa, i put some high work into it

-- Sun Apr 03, 2011 9:22 pm --

bump for feed back please

tulip had the harder hit, grim you didnt even try

thanks for the feedback dudes

very dope jig

I'm intellectual, quick triggered, hot-headed as a firing pistol
I'm sick no drool, rip shreds, leaving bodies with missing heads
swinging like Tarzan, i buzzed some dreads, vines of webs
my preys can't relax, hides get skinned, rhymes instilled within
still searching, for my propose, on this earth ...

this is dope bro i like it all

I like the context/story. Try and take out some of the I's, like I me this I me that, start and stopping

Yo whatever ever happened to trust
why am i so hostile, can’t even catch a fuck
silly nut, acting like somethings always up
every girl seen, i think a slut
so i’m on a mission, hear the whistle thats alarming, can you feel it in your gut
watch out, i’m coming to catch you, throw you like a shoulder ...

thank you for your response, this song i wrote means alot to me.

i only wish my skill level was high enough to actually flow this out-loud to yous.

You’ve won.. i quit

no pain relievers, i’ma relive these feelings through the speakers
your in everything i write, your the reason i can’t sleep soundly at night
when its way past midnight and i get hype
exercising my right.. these weights sometimes feel like
I’m lifting the earth in spite ...

I’m coming raw
emotion so hard you pause
take a second, n while you taking it in
I’m blurting bars out my jaws with rage caged within
think this is a game, well, i ain’t FUCKING playing!
keep SLAYING say I’m PLAYING with demons
think i had god on my side but now just picture people screaming
take ...

Grimm wins

its called fucking a round. i have serious writtens, but still working on them. thanks for the feed

-- Fri Mar 25, 2011 1:07 pm --

bump

yo yo yo
I'm ready nowww i Think
pass that blunt

when i blast i bust
knocking a fat bitch off the stair case on the local bus :lol:
screaming I'm loco has fuck, with two middle fingers pointed up
(FUCK YOU)
I'm sick, so ill the doctors won't touch
walk into the room with two condoms attached to my ...

personally i think this is dope