This is where I’m going to be sounding off like a deaf man trying to play the electric guitar. Obviously I only speak for myself, my views do not reflect the opinion of nobody but me, so if you got any problems with what I say, address that shit to “Rugged” — with a capital R.
Iâ€™m not always gonna be talking about music either, I got a fucked up head, so my sense of arguing can travel in leaps and bounds. Here youâ€™re gonna hear me rip anything from movies, to television, to politics, to the old lady who lives across the street and gets mad whenever anybody parks in front of her fucking house.
Iâ€™m here to say the shit you people donâ€™t have the balls to say, why? Because like any artist, what do I have to lose? This column does contain a lot of cursing and negative views, the kind of shit you would expect to hear from a drunk at the end of the bar table. So if you’re easily offended, kiss my ass and go check out Yahoo! or something.
But enough with wasting time, letâ€™s open the briefcaseâ€¦
Hip Hop DX has a real nice story on Rick Rossâ€™s menstrual cramps at the recent Soul Train Awards. Taking a play out of Kanyeâ€™s playbook, this tubby mainstream puppet threw a hissie fit after Eminem won Best Hip Hop song for â€œLove The Way You Lie.â€ In doing so, he proceeded to get up and just leave the show, leaving his performance with Chrisette Michele on their hit single â€œAston Martin Musicâ€ to be scrapped, leaving this poor young girl out of television/performance time.
Now, itâ€™s one thing to be hurt over losing a Grammy, but to get butt hurt and walk out on a Soul Train Award, just says a lot about your character. Obviously Rick Ross is a character. His real name is William Leonard Roberts II, a one-time Correctional Facility officer as you can see here. Most of his “drug-cartel” claims have been investigated and debunked, his flow is always the same, just a lazy monotone voice always glorifying drugs and violence (when he doesnâ€™t even do it in real life???)â€¦
This is the perfect example of what is wrong with hip hop, I can go on in great lengths with this chubby chump, from being a liar, to a phony (see how he claimed to beat 50 Cent when 50 spanked the shit out of him, to have your baby momma do a porno is what I call the K.O. Punch!!!) â€” to his homie from Triple Câ€™s making Youtube videoâ€™s about breaking coke up with one hand (in a $1 dollar bill ha) and sniffing it in front of foreign police, to being a cancerous tumor stuck within the spine of the â€œonceâ€ credible Def Jam Label (don’t worry you bitches are next). Rick Ross is no better than Mike Jones, â€œWHO?â€ â€” I SAID MIKE JONES! Without the desperation of needing a Southern rapper who knows how to rhyme more than one syllable, the music industry would of left this fool cleaning up inmate shit off the walls in the shower. Rick Ross is fake, just an MC Gusto like most rappers these days.
Back when Rick Rubin and Russell Simmons were in control of Def Jam, hip hop was fresh, aggressive (but clean), motivational and inspiring. As the years went on, Lyor Cohen stepped in and quickly became power hungry, knocking Rubin out of a job, forcing him to start up his own label American Recordings. In 1999 Lyor left to Warner Music Group, Russell Simmons sold his stake for $100 million to Universal Music Group — & from that point on, everything just went to shitâ€¦
I donâ€™t want to put on a history report here, the main problem isâ€“Â L.A. Reid.
You dumb mother fucker, do you have any idea what your imbecilic thinking is doing to hip hop? Yeah you might know how to put on a suite and sell a Toni Braxton CD or an Usher single, but that shit isnâ€™t what Def Jam is known for (that was Def Soul), get the fuck out of your “La Face” business plan, and get with the blueprint of Def Jam, I’m talking about that east-coast & southern hip hop â€” that DMX & Ludacris shit â€” that Jay-Z & Kanye West shit.
This fake gold wearing, nimrod L.A. Reid got fired by the same label that created Milli Vanilli (if you donâ€™t know, read this) — Arista Recordings. This fuck nut only knows how to sing like a girl and give cameraâ€™s that fabricated bank teller smile. Once Lyor and Russell stepped out, this guy put on a black cape and plopped his under-qaulified ass right on the kingâ€™s throne, first letting Jay-Z go after giving him a short run as Def Jam President. Then secondly, just like a fart from under his leg,Â letting hip hop go POOF!
Check out this letter Nas wrote to L.A. Reid and his label pawns (CLICK HERE DUMBASS), so incase you think Iâ€™m just talking shit, take it from someone whoâ€™s there in person.
The bottom line is, Def Jam is one of the only major distributions for Hip Hop music. When hip hop was ran by people who knew hip hop and understood hip hop, the genre thrived, it was golden, sales were booming and the youth was wild with dreams. But once these “baby boomer” outsiders came in and started moving chess pieces without knowing where the fuck they can go, started hiring “broke” actors to be rappers and tell them exactly what to say, the stock in hip hop started to drop faster than a burning christmas tree.
The truly sad thing is, a lot of people turn to music for inspiration, we don’t just listen to music, we live it. So to have actors exploit the problems within our communities and make them seem recreational, truly shows this country is being destroyed on purpose. There is no excuse for this shit, this is just plain, criminal acting.
This saturday night Dana White and his bulldogs are headed to Detroit for UFC 123. The Main Event will see two juggernaut title contenders Quintin “Rampage” Jackson & Lyota “The Dragon” Machida battle it out — both who are coming off of losses however. I truly expect this to be a boring ass fight, you would expect Quintin to push the pace and swing on Lyota like an underhand pitch in the World Series. But, with Machida getting knocked the fuck out in his last match, don’t expect to see him getting too close to Rampage. I got a strong feeling this is going to be a cat and mouse game, almost something you would see out of a “San Quintin” rec yard, a big scary black guy chasing a pasty Oriental guy “come here bitch!”
My prediction: Lyota Machida wins Unanimous Decision
In the co-main event, old timer Matt Hughes puts the horse saddles away to get one more crack at BJ Penn. Expect this to be no different than a couple of gay guys wrestling on a drunk friday night in someone’s front yard (believe me I’ve seen it. Across the street in that old ass lady’s front yard — her cracked out grand son from North Carolina, just wrestling and hugging some other guy in the front yard at 2:30 in the morning). I think BJ Penn is a good fighter, but he just doesn’t utilize his ground game or kicks, he just weaves back and forth and tries to jab the shit out of you until he can jump on your back and choke you out. Matt Hughes does nothing but take you down and dry hump you for fifteen minutes, it’s a good thing they have to wear a cup or Matt Hughes would never stand up after the round is over. I don’t think the homies in Detroit are gonna like this one, this might turn into an MMA riot just like in the movie Bruno.
My Prediction: BJ Penn wins Unanimous Decision
Overall, if you don’t already know, UFC streams free all over the internet — so if you got anyway of hooking your laptop or computer up to your tv, don’t waste the $45.00, save that for your kids or something.Here’s a few dirty jokes to help keep the candles lit…
– I’m the kind of guy who stops the microwave at 1 second just to feel like a bomb defuser.
– I texted my boss, “What’s the difference between this morning and your daughter?”
He answered, “I don’t know.”
I replied, “I’m not coming in this morning.”
– I’ll stop at nothing to avoid using negative numbers.
– “Now that doesn’t look like a foot” … thought the sock.
– If a woman says she’s wrong, is she still wrong?
– I don’t understand why Christians are against gay marriage — Jesus had two dads, he turned out alright.
– My Nan has found a lump in each of her breasts. Turns out it was just her knees.
Thank you for reading this edition of the Rugged Nugget. This was more/less a test run, dipping my toes in the water and seeing how cold the rest of you are. Have a safe, drunk weekend, and if you see L.A. Reid, throw some trash at him.