Hip Hop Forum

Let me see drop it down to floor. Way you move make wanna pop. I wanna see you get low. Im so sick with flow. I spit bangers// Im spitting flames// Im husling hulsing for doe. Im hot becasue On number one spot. I got rockafella chain around my kneck. Everybody make it bounce. Shake whaat your ma ma gave you.
I spit fire// Im dropping bombs on track. Like it or not the Queen back in the house. let see you do uh-oh. Im number stunna like Birdman and lil wayne.
Im illest mc in the game. because of my fans im face of fame. make it lock for me. Rock your booty to beat. im dropping hottest hits. Im the best// dance everytime music drop. Im holding it down on top 10 countdwon. they show me love when see me on block. I got whole rocking to it. Im watching her joking. Im spitting on track with the king. im doing my thing.

um well..its very simplistic..and some parts dont follow up with a rhyme like u intended..like this part.

im spitting flames// Im husling hulsing for doe. Im hot becasue On number one spot. I got rockafella chain around my kneck.

^,u cud of rhymed somethin with flames or dough in the next line or two,which wud of made it flow decent. i personally think u shud try rhyming one line at a time and perfect that b4 u try anything else.

[if i can use one of ur lines as an exmple]

im spitting flames
im the best in the game
im hustling for dough
somethin u all shud kno

see how the rhymes follow up right after the previous?,thats just an idea,hope u understand..if not im sure theres a shit load of ppl that can try an help u understand more. keep droppin tho and keep practicing

thanks for feed

any more feeds?

takes time to get feed n sometimes u dont get any i.e fuckin me
errbody seems to ignore my pieces i live wit it

i didnt really like this
didnt really flow well
i think ya should go back to basic flow and practise befo ya try sumin extra
keep'em comin

Whuts good ma!?
check it out...
...I know you're new here on illest, so I don't want you to think that niggaz here are "mad hater'ish" because of your feedback so far up to this point. But one of the good things about this site is that we can all elevate our techniques and up our games through constructive critisism.

So with that said...
...Your rhyme was real basic. It displayed the fundamentals of rhyme! It wasn't bad, but it doesn't make for a real exciting written-piece (or text). Actually by reading it...it sounds like sumthin that would make a more lively audio (if done with the right music and energy)!

But definately keep writing and dropping. And if you need any help or have any questions...don't hesitate to ask one of us.

okay
ty for letting me know
I make better one

like said.
very simple.
flow was off through out the whole thing.
simple rhymeing.

like tramatik said try doing bar after bar style
ex

bitches call me the don,king//
coz i kill cats with the wrong bling//

something like that
but notice how i rhymed 2 words at the end.
thats not real great but its better than the stylin your using.

now flow
i cant tell u about that coz i suck at it.

but w.e
thats my feed.

good looks and stay active

okay

okay

okay

It Was Basic ,
Some Flow Was There..
gotta Put more Lyrics into it..
but Keep Flow and Structure it Better.. Holla At Me i'll Tell U What im Talking About ....

thanks everyone for feeds

okay, I see

this Is Terrible