Hip Hop Forum

Quick little somethin I threw together cuz I'm drunk and bored. It's nothin special but lemme know what ya'll think.



I'd be better off dead & this isn't the Start-To-A-Punchline
Brain's cooked & my soul's lost but my Heart'll-Be-Just-Fine
Busted my ass all through school just like I was Told-To-Do
Then my life folded, freezin' my heart like the Coldest-Wound
So fuck life, fuck establishment, and Motherfuck-The-World
Cuz I can't even find some solace in the Lovin-From-A-Girl
Repeatedly tossed in the pits of Smoldering-Men-Accosted
Gettin tired of tryin in a cruel life thats Holdin-Me-As-Hostage
Every step Forward-I-Make gives me Two-More-To-Take
I try to fall asleep thru the nights but still Abhore-The-Days
When did my life become so Tainted wit Bad-Luck-&-Hatred?
Every path to Greatness leaves me Wrapped-Up-In-Makeshift
Went and got a College-Degree, yet I'm still Lost-&-Not-Free
Yet I go on knowing today is well, the best day I'll Probably-See
Depression Grips-My-Heart-&-Mind, my soul Rips-Apart-&-Dies
Gotta stay strong so when my heart gets Stripped, I-Hardly-Cry
Pac said we live to die, but lately all my Visions-Are-Of-Strife
Just wish I could break thru the bars of this Prison-I-Call-Life

shit's deep, off in a few places, for a second i forgot this wasn't a poem, overall its dope

Yeah, it's definately got some poetic nature to it. I didn't write it to a beat or anything, so I apologize for the choppy flow in some spots. Thanks for the feed though, always appreciated.

shits deep...the multies were nice...vocab was sick...you painted a picture for the reader...this was some nice shit fam

stay up

1

Nice drop man. Definetley has a poem feel too it. I write poems so that type of feel was easily picked up on. Pretty deep in some places, I like drops that can hold water and arent just senseless drops.

Good stuff man.

Fuck guys, awesome feedback thus far. Thanks tons. I'd have been lucky to get a single "8/10 shit was nice" on the last couple forums I've posted. Shit means a lot to me, and I can't thank ya'll enough. Keep it comin'.

Nice drop here. The strucutre flow and multis made it a real smooth read. Some nice emotion in here. Im definitly impressed by this and some othe rshit ive seen from you.