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A little somethin

Posted: Fri Jun 27, 2008 5:59 pm
by Omega Bill
A little something I wrote. Then gonna use for a collab. Then nothing new on the collab so I'm just gonna drop it. The first 5 bars were for the collab the others I just wrote out. The end is a little jab at somebody, nothin serious though.

[font=Comic Sans MS]Look at yourself, wheres the line between real g's and moniquer
When you see my words its like you can feel me through ya monitor
My text jumps at you, its what seperates me from the everyone else
Concave ya chest, funerals near I suggest you start dressin yourself
Now, I know sometimes my words are plagued by some medioctry
But even on a a drop that falls short, you kids still aint toppin me
Best believe, that with me active dreams will be surely shattered
With everyones bodies torn and tattered, have ya brain matter splattered
All over Illests Ladder, climbing to the top I have, leaving open scabs
While you dab your wounds, and it fills blood like a bitch blowin on her rag
You cats hosted by "Dick" and cancelled out in Philly like "American Bandstand"
My rhymes infectious and sick put yall to sleep like you was "Entering Sandman"
I have 30 #1 fans while most drops you have r blank like ya writing banned checks
And you writhing in pain and cant withstand my "bars" like a rookie on "Xanax"
I sweat gasoline through my body, u wet from water cuz you seem to tread to fail
Yall a buncha hustlas on here but you couldnt flip a dime if u was playin heads or tails
Ill flow with nails, while you use Q-Tips, think you slick because you stole that ice
But Im quick to cut fakes on Illest n send em to the end like a Wal-Mart "Rollback Price"
Never said I told you twice, once is good, my name in the callouts cause dude think he nice
Dude, u just another troll to slice, why call me out again after you got KO'd by me n Precise?
Nah really, this aint a diss to you brah, Ill bust your fuckin sockets, keep that trap shut now
How you gonna battle me when u cant make it out the first round like the Rockets w/o Yao?![/font]

I havent left feed in a min so Ill just return the favor.

Posted: Fri Jun 27, 2008 7:17 pm
by Dead Silence
sick shit.
loved it.
nothing bad to point out cept the flow gets choppy.

Posted: Sat Jun 28, 2008 12:46 am
by Scip
haha

bill got at subsist...just battle him to end it all...why diss him?

just battle him

Posted: Sat Jun 28, 2008 1:15 am
by - Mutual -
well nice flow a bit choppy toward the end
nice concept
keep'em comin i liked it

Posted: Mon Jun 30, 2008 12:13 am
by Omega Bill
This isn't all a full out diss to Subsist, haha.

Thanks for the feed. I'll return it.

Posted: Mon Jun 30, 2008 12:54 am
by Çhåiñ$âw
Dead Silence wrote:sick shit.
loved it.
nothing bad to point out cept the flow gets choppy.
This guy said it, but was nice about it. Your lyrics aren't bad, and you've got some pretty neat concept in there, but the entire read feels like I'm on a runaway train.. It starts out slow and steady, then begins to pick up pace, then gets so stretched that I'm having to stop and read lines again, at a completely different tempo. There's nothing wrong with that, in essense, but I highly suggest trying to get your rhyme schemes a little more balanced. The fire you spit mixed with good structure would be nearing phenomenal. Keep at it bro.

7.5/10


Tek

Posted: Tue Jul 01, 2008 5:36 am
by Omega Bill
Thanks bro. I've always had a problem with consistent structure, haha, I seem to have the ladder effect in a lot of my drops, haha.

Thanks for all the feed so far.

Posted: Tue Jul 01, 2008 8:46 am
by complexity
Nice job man.

Even thought it wasn't a full blown diss, it did have some hard hitters like the the KO line.

8.5/10

Posted: Tue Jul 01, 2008 3:00 pm
by Arvincible
hmmm decent shit man, its got diction that stands out a lot
and the closer obviously stood out. You have some humor and that helps alot, because u seem very serious sometimes. Its a very good piece man uve improved soooo much.

lol i remember that one piece...

http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/bored ... t7394.html


lmao good stuff son.

Posted: Tue Jul 01, 2008 5:26 pm
by Omega Bill
Thanks Plex and Arv.

Arv - LMAO. Yeah, that was like my first drop, haha.