Hip Hop Forum

i'm writin' some fire shit while cypherin' atop da nine pyramids
yankin' eyes right out they socket with a pair of pliars, knife, or drill bit
so witness da carnage an onslawt depicted by raw fists
to leave ya unconscious, its Lights Out like bulb filaments to da Amish
wanna battle da great? smack ya so hard, it'll leave a mark for days
so even palm readers can forcast a win in my fate.. off da handprint on ya face
spittin' in mach speeds dat carry no sound when i bury ya now
kids, just try to hang on to me like da metal handrail of merry-go-rounds

http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/as-yo ... html#82698

here's da link stuff

well ya need to write longer bit it's good i'm in a rush so sorry about the quick feed
nice flow
not bad overall 6/10

so witness da carnage an onslawt depicted by raw fists
to leave ya unconscious, its Lights Out like bulb filaments to da Amish
wanna battle da great? smack ya so hard, it'll leave a mark for days
so even palm readers can forcast a win in my fate.. off da handprint on ya face

my fav bit^
kep'em comin

same as above, some hot concepts, flow was off, multis where present i think, but assonance was used and some multis were off, work on matching them up

overall not great, but not bad, got potential...

eh, it was ok for a quick spit i guess, expected more(dunno y) but yea.. wasn't feelin it that much, keep droppin tho