Page 1 of 1

Courthouse piece,,,peep it

Posted: Tue Jun 10, 2008 11:55 am
by Gutta
Premeditated murders, devastated, your fates the burna
No regrets on his face, when he turned to face the Jurors
Had a good attorney with him, but still facin an eternity in prison
His homies heard he was getting sentenced, no names, no burnin with his henchmen
Looked upon as a murderer with vengeance, put a burner to his nemesis
And blew off his head with his devilish grin and then he split
Tried to live his life acceptin his regrets for this, Swore he saw God
But couldn't connect with him, Now hes forced behind Bars
No more cars, no more dice games, a slight flame ignited vain in his heart
Used to gang bang on the block, sniffed cane and was deranged in his thoughts
Now he sittin in front of the court, with an upset fan club in the crowd of 100 or more
A group of bad thugs, with whom he used to run from the law
His mother and dad, starin sadly at the son they once had
His hands cuffed under the stand, sweatin hard even though he was under the fan
The lawyer askin him questions about the gun that he had
Switched back to his presence of when he dropped the man who asked for redemption
But his killer essence was too strong, saw the Devil that told him to move on
A rebel from the Ten Commandments, Had brown skin and spoke Spanish
The world left him stranded, and now the LA County Correctional system
Sendin this man to prison where his flesh will vanish, just how the Devil planned it
He had no last remarks, in the stands witnessed the victims of the slain
The mother of the victim was whom he personally imprisoned from all the pain
She was waiting for the verdict, impatient, wanted this man murdered from her hatred
Her son never deserved to get murdered on the pavement, but it wasn't unheard of
In the streets they play in, just another thug in a hole that he deeply lays in
His mind was menaced and after the crime he commited in turn he was dead
And guilty was the verdict that the Jury had read, Fuck life, hed rather be buried instead
Niggas left the courthouse thinking justice was done, Another life sentence
Towards a thug who lived his life under the Gun

Posted: Tue Jun 10, 2008 11:17 pm
by - Mutual -
man nice flow multies in point i liked it 8/10
man nice and easy layout not evryone has got that
man loved the vocab in this piece ya good shit.

Premeditated murders, devastated, your fates the burna
No regrets on his face, when he turned to face the Jurors
Had a good attorney with him, but still facin an eternity in prison
His homies heard he was getting sentenced, no names, no burnin with his henchmen
Looked upon as a murderer with vengeance, put a burner to his nemesis
And blew off his head with his devilish grin and then he split

My fave Bit^
keepe'm comin

Posted: Wed Jun 11, 2008 9:25 am
by Gutta
thanks for the good feed back patna i appreciate it. i was lyrically tryin 2 tell a story with dis. uppin

Posted: Thu Jun 12, 2008 2:26 pm
by Gutta
damn i was hopin for som more feed on dis

uppin still..

Posted: Thu Jun 12, 2008 11:34 pm
by DressToKill
I thought this was pretty dope..multies were definently on point and the story itself wasnt told that bad at all..its hard to maintain a high level of lyracism and tell a good story too..good job dude

Posted: Fri Jun 13, 2008 3:08 pm
by Gutta
thanks 4 the feed patna...still uppin fo mo

Posted: Fri Jun 13, 2008 8:37 pm
by Arvincible
Well u can't be gone for long and come back thinkin ull get feed just like that, u aint been that active!!

Anyways, good shit, I like the concept, the story gets choppy but I guess what ur trying to do is difficult so I still give you props for the effort.

Its not ur best but its still dope.

Posted: Sat Jun 14, 2008 5:32 am
by Gutta
ya i kno i aint been 2 active but its summa time baby i got shit to do! cant spend my life on the computa mannnggg

thanks for the feed tho patna

Posted: Sat Jun 14, 2008 6:32 am
by Arvincible
yessir lmao