Hip Hop Forum

http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/why-i ... t9074.html

[font=Comic Sans MS]A boy with no name, raised in a neighborhood with no fame
No game to be spat, no lames to train and be raised with a gat
Nothins the same where hes at, live life fully a motto for that
Young man with a bat, a lyrical cylinder carved into a louie
Spherical mind starved over time, bustin through so you see
That new g's can come in all shapes sizes, bring the new lead
Over-run vets, steal their girls, walk with a strut cus she blew me
Really, history repeats itself, fire up the lips till you overheat yourself
Meet your health, face to face, life support, have ya body on the shelf
Help those who need not care, ya boy ran from him cuz he got scared
He will not fare well against those who can kill with a snear or a glare
Fear not there, only tenacity here to put forth the audacity to steer
Theres no capacity for courage, paper thin opacity seen through here
Claspin thee down to the rules and guidelines, with no shine time
To rhyme lines show skill and talent through struggles to grind dimes
Fine line between mirror and reality, 1's a reflection, others tailin me
Like a shadow but a fallacy, is it fake to my eyes or an abnormality
Irrationally thinking would murder of the mirror count as illegality
The reflection shows immortality, but real time shows individuality
My other half has a name, hes not who began to write the verse
A curse, a rival, the epitome of Jesus Christ vs Lucifer in the bible
Fact that I cant be held lible, for actions that are irreconcilable
In the eys of those who dont know that 2 personas take over thee
There's the devil in the mirror, but beneath the skin is a loner thats me[/font]

I thought this was dope overall.

I had to read it twice just to start to understand it all, which is a great thing for this type of written.

Flow was pretty steady. The concept was executed in a very real way.

It's not really a piece to quote lines, because without one line the others wouldn't make sense, but the first part was dope and excited me about what was to come in the drop.

Good job man. I hold back to say it's your best drop, but definitely one of them.

This piece is real raw period.

This is by far the most impressive piece from you bill. Creative topic and well placed vocab. It also had decent multis here and there that were in the right spots. Atmosphere was deffo real here man.
The flow was also on point, something uve really upped in since day 1. Plex is right about the lines but imma quote my fave bar anyways.

Fear not there, only tenacity here put forth the audacity to steer,
There's no capacity for courage, paper thin opacity seen through here...

^^ real smooth

This piece was raw.

I agree wit da above basically.. I like da way u incorpated vocab and dropped knowledge. Very good, sir.

[font=Comic Sans MS]Thanks for all the feed so far. It's appreciated and it will be returned.[/font]

man nice stuff as per usual
nice vocab was put in well

Really, history repeats itself, fire up the lips till you overheat yourself
Meet your health, face to face, life support, have ya body on the shelf
Help those who need not care, ya boy ran from him cuz he got scared
He will not fare well against those who can kill with a snear or a glare

My fave bit ^

...Bill!
Very impressed Son ..
I Know U Goin Thru Shit ..
Usually When U Are Tha Best Shit Comes Outta U ..
But it Was Nice as Fuck Kid ..
I Loved it ..

[font=Comic Sans MS]Thanks for all the feed. It's appreciated.[/font]

yeah this was tight, topic was cool, stayed on it well

multis where hot, relevant, complex enough, aided the story, flow nice too

couple of stand out lines.. murder, bible, grind dimes

nice stuff..

loved the concept and how u executed it
but i didnt like the piece really..
the rhyme scheme was way to basic in the beginning
i love the fact ur uppin ur vocab but dont make it
seem like ur throwin big words in there to look
intellectual or w/e a peice doesnt have to be verbose
to be good. the beginning and end should always be
the strongest parts if u must go to the basic schemes
leave it for the middle that way u already have the
reader interested 6/10

Thought This Wus a Tough Ass Piece...

The Bar I Liked Da Most..
Loved Da Bar...

Fine line between mirror and reality, 1's a reflection, others tailin me
Like a shadow but a fallacy, is it fake to my eyes or an abnormality < Dat Shit Wus Hott..

The Piece Overrall Was Solid As Hell... I Felt Like Dat Bar just Stuck Out Da Most...
i Caught The Flow.. It Wus Good... Nice Vocab... Kill't Da Concept..

8/10...

Thanks for all the feed.

lol i loved this shit man, the copious amount of sick vocab in it was immaculate, rhymes were pretty nice, story was great, sick man

i liked this. this was better than the Writer of The Year drop i just read so i`ll leave the feed on this one.

the whole thing was worded nicely and it had a good flow to it. the vocab was excellent. sometimes complicated vocab can ruin a verse and take away from the actual content of the verse but u didnt do that here.


A curse, a rival, the epitome of Jesus Christ vs Lucifer in the bible
Fact that I cant be held lible, for actions that are irreconcilable
In the eys of those who dont know that 2 personas take over thee
There's the devil in the mirror, but beneath the skin is a loner thats me
^^^^]
your best bars
lmao my favourite bars in Arvincibles drop was talkin about bibles and devils too.