Hip Hop Forum

Alpha Bill - White
Arvincible - Green

Big dudes dont see whats in store spendin their time at Bally
When they flex on me Ill follow em with a 2x4 down a dark alley
Logics failed me, out in the real world their parents never trained them
To run from the same men like us who will sever off your brain stem
Souls float and leave them, while I dont quit and have ya choke on teeth
Chop off your legs n your feet, when you shouldnt a got that close to me
You wont feel the pain eruptin through your nerves from the chloroform
Rag over your mouth to cease the screamin in this gore filled horror dorm
Tore scorned, Ill rip of your flesh from your tendons n have your skull bend-in
Oath to the night signed with a pen n the shadows mask bodies have blood blend in
This is a not trend in society, walkin around with a baseball bat up my sleeve
I will kill all rats like a mouse trap and put peoples lives in permenent eternal sleep
Im the one you never wanna meet, Ill do the digging for ya casket 2 weeks in advance
Wont see the metal from the ratchet Im the type to creep with a hack saw n chop off your hands
So my skin doesnt get under your fingernails so the feds cant follow my paper trail
Cause theyll be no one to pay for bail after I go on a spree of death like a blood orgy
Rip out your veins straight from your wrist, cut off your skin with a mace for my task
Im sure this guy will be sorely missed but they wont catch me when I wear his face for a mask
Im savin my case for the last, no DNA to be found or skin lesions cause the body was neutered
Sliced open his adams apple the CIA couldnt find stains cause I drained the blood in the sewer
Witness dont speak, chopped of their linger lips, no case for John Doe I blocked off his finger tips
After the plasma drained I set the body ablaze cremated in the night to save his familes pay

My Demented soul, tormented with infested holes, lifted weights till my chest was swoll,
So I can easily choke niggas till they're vegetables Snap the fine line of the moral code,
Plant a bomb in ya gut and watch ya core explode, ya brains torn and tolled,
Pack ya remains in the fridge so you'll be stored in cold, I got razor blades in my mouth,
See anyone I don't like and imma pull em out, that's why I stock it
Got A screwdriver in my side-pocket, so look at me wrong and im shovin it in ur eye sockets
Beg for mercy but its what gets me goin, I don't use these clips for mowin,
I severe with em Ur arm versus a saw, ur never winnin, cuz im clever rippin,
U can cry for god by I know hell never listen. I love the smell of blood,
The sound of breakin bones, so im steady rippin up ya spinal cord
Tearin flesh with my bare hands, graspin hair strands..done with this victim, imma find some more
watch a fool melt in acid, screamin for help and gaspin, but imma just start laughin and point
Pull out the girl he was lovin then, put her in front of him and start snappin her joints
Think of dark things,Tie ur genitals on the local park swings, and staple ur urinary tract to the celing
Cynical schemes, u can't stop me im living the american dream...I just have a passion for killing
So the next time you see a stranger walkin on the street don't you ever disrespect
That may be the last things u say with pride cuz that might be me...and u will be next

arv definitely had the harder verse, more disgusying even..i hate horrorcore lol but
u guys did it well, arvs flowed real nice and the beginning came on real strong

bill some parts fell off, but i liked it as much as u can like reading about murder..
i like the whole concept of u making sure u dont get locked up but u should have focus
more on the murder its self, mind frame, what sets u off, u have to think with the mind
of a murder on these types of pieces


I will kill all rats like a mouse trap<<<wth were u thinking..were gonna talk about that on AIM
later..cus thats just not working lol..

7.9/10 good job boys

Thanks for the feed.

<i>wth were u thinking..were gonna talk about that on AIM
later..cus thats just not working lol..
</i>


Lol. Okay.

"Im the one you never wanna meet, Ill do the digging for ya casket 2 weeks in advance
Wont see the metal from the ratchet Im the type to creep with a hack saw n chop off your hands "

"Rip out your veins straight from your wrist, cut off your skin with a mace for my task
Im sure this guy will be sorely missed but they wont catch me when I wear his face for a mask
Im savin my case for the last, no DNA to be found or skin lesions cause the body was neutered
Sliced open his adams apple the CIA couldnt find stains cause I drained the blood in the sewer "

The beginning was good.

"Souls float and leave them, while I dont quit and have ya choke on teeth
Chop off your legs n your feet, when you shouldnt a got that close to me "

I would have said "both your feet". Overall it was cool.

Arvincible, your whole verse was pretty dope. You stayed on topic nicely. And added some gross things like screwdrivers in eye sockets that made me sick. Good job!

Overall:8.2/10

Arv: Inconsistent rhyme scheme - other then that, it's good! Descriptive, seem to have some experience doin this shit.. lol

Alpha: Good verse, could've used some more multies - but not really necessary, that would've given the verse another dimension, takin it to the next level..

Not really feelin this type of topic, so i aint gon rate it.. but thought u did a good job.. props!

thanks alot guys uppin for more feed

Yessir...deff feeling this one right here

Rip out your veins straight from your wrist, cut off your skin with a mace for my task
Im sure this guy will be sorely missed but they wont catch me when I wear his face for a mask

^^Ouch Thats Gota Hurt


My Demented soul, tormented with infested holes, lifted weights till my chest was swoll,
So I can easily choke niggas till they're vegetables Snap the fine line of the moral code,


^nice multies and flow line was clever

thanks bruh feed is much appreciated

uppin for more

yo dis shit was loco ya'll niggaz got off much props

Thanks for the feed man.

Thanks for all the feed so far. It's appreciated.

Bill-overall i think this was good. could have had a lil more of something dk what it is but its missin.

WORST:
So my skin doesnt get under your fingernails so the feds cant follow my paper trail
Cause theyll be no one to pay for bail after I go on a spree of death like a blood orgy

^no ending rhyme that i can see

BEST:
Tore scorned, Ill rip of your flesh from your tendons n have your skull bend-in
Oath to the night signed with a pen n the shadows mask bodies have blood blend in
^loved it

Arv.-overall was good like bills. nothing really bad to say that i can see

WORST:
Beg for mercy but its what gets me goin, I don't use these clips for mowin,
I severe with em Ur arm versus a saw, ur never winnin, cuz im clever rippin,
^fucked up ur rhyming techn.

BEST:
My Demented soul, tormented with infested holes, lifted weights till my chest was swoll,
So I can easily choke niggas till they're vegetables Snap the fine line of the moral code,
^u killed it with the multis

overall:
8/10

nice drop u 2

lovely jubbly



nah i give u feed later. defo owe both u some feed

this was nice from both of you. i wouldnt really say anyone outshined anyone here. both were graphic which is the point of horrorcore i guess. btw i hate the word horrorcore
anyway both verses flowed well and had the multis and all that shit
i woulda enjoyed the verses more if you wrote more about your state of mind rather than snappin tendons and shit but that might go against the horrorcore topic.

anyway dope couple of verse. 8/10 to both of you

thanks for the feed folks

uppin

Thanks for all the feed.

It's appreciated.