Hip Hop Forum

Shell shocked soldiers get nothin, thats what we're worth u know
Rather encourage gay relationships, its the best form of birth control
Gas prices risin, they claim a recession, sayin its affecting millions
Just the way its these days, so how come Shells expecting billions
We givin aid to Africa, more like another Hummer for a tyrant
Bastards keepin all the dough, while the poor sufferin in silence
Turning blind eyes to prostitution, another whore to the slaughter
But reclassifying weed, im a dealer coz I got more than a quarter?
Now they got litter police, trippin coz our rubbish fill the street
What about the murders? in my city there were 7 killed last week
Their priorities are fucked, gotta say look here whos helping me?
What happened to health for free, traded in for nuclear weaponry
Prescription charges rising, I gotta ask is that a sick note or a fine?
Steady stealin all our rights, lol now America cant play poker online
Political leaders gotta be religious, theres still power in the pulpit
Well fuck them and global warming, Cee wont cower to that bullshit

You know that I love this topic.

Unfortunately, I think you were more worried about touching on a bunch of subjects than coming up with great lines.

It was more like an assignment for school that happened to rhyme. You can never get caught in that trap when doing the political raps.

I'd still give it an 8.2 because it wasn't really weak. It just wasn't a strong piece with memorable lines.

Keep it up.

Agree with Plex, u should concentrate on one subject rather then a whole bunch.. one subject per verse is a good recipe for political rap.. IMO..

ur droppin strong verses.. very consistent and u've proven urself a versatile rapper - considering ur not only writing punchline verses (aint really that often on the site anymore, but i tend to look at ya writtens when i'm here), i like that.. i think ur the best punchline rapper on IL, but that's not relevant here.. just a lil ass kissin to make u happy.. lol..

appreciate the feedback. yeah it wasnt that focused coz it was just a real quick thing but both of you definitly got a point

thanks

good shit man, i liked the opener, that got me to read the rest...but nothing was better than that.

really knowledgeable writing but the second line on the bars shouldve hit harder on the delivery

Their priorities are fucked, gotta say look here whos helping me?
What happened to health for free, traded in for nuclear weaponry

We givin aid to Africa, more like another Hummer for a tyrant
Bastards keepin all the dough, while the poor sufferin in silence

Shell shocked soldiers get nothin, thats what we're worth u know
Rather encourage gay relationships, its the best form of birth control

those were my fave lines though, real tight

peace cee