Hip Hop Forum

My emotions are sparingly, apparently, in my moment of clarity,
Spittin a flow in which aridly, u steal like ive shown it as charity,
Remember these letters might, commence words but I never write,
U never right yall tuck ur nuts up like ur havin inward gender fights,
Its after life I defend, when my ink bleeds like its sacrifice of a pen,
Actin half as nice, laughter recites, cuz disaster strikes in the end,
My devotion is raised, my powers peakin like an ocean of waves,
Im viral like my flow is insane, I let it pour cuz its cold in the rain,
I ignite like a flame & a spark, to cypher the fire to aim at ur heart,
Talkin vane from the start, give u spasms like video games in the dark,
Plus on a beat, the only time ur spittin fresh is when ur brushin ur teeth,
I put the sun in retreat, so grippin my cd is when ur touchin the heat,
I don't have an album, so u cause about as much buzz as half a valium,
I capture my hidden black masks n prevail em, stab then raps impale em',
I prepare in pure will, blowin u outta proportion like I got caricature skills,
My characters built, im hazardous like im the night-mare of statures still,
Try to stop the plots, dyin on the spot, screw the time n clock jus watch,
How I outline my drops wit shots, subliminal rhymes unlocks the box,
My heat? Cops'll retreat the way I twist words its like knots is the speed,
Im quick to stop ur flow like ur body when it makes blood clot when u bleed,

I liked the first half better.

"My devotion is raised, my powers peakin like an ocean of waves, "

I didn't like the follow up bar, but thought that was dope.

"Its after life I defend, when my ink bleeds like its sacrifice of a pen,
Actin half as nice, laughter recites, cuz disaster strikes in the end, "

Probably my favorite bar.

"Plus on a beat, the only time ur spittin fresh is when ur brushin ur teeth, "
"Talkin vane from the start, give u spasms like video games in the dark, "
"How I outline my drops wit shots, subliminal rhymes unlocks the box, "
"U never right yall tuck ur nuts up like ur havin inward gender fights,"

Lines, I wasn't particularly fond of.

I say that because they took away from the overall piece.

I think, this piece aspired to be something great but fell short.

Nothing wrong with that though.

8.5/10.

Drop is mad bananaz son! haha I like that shit. It's not ur most impressive written I've seen, but I'm not down-grading it from how good it still is.

"Remember these letters might, commence words but I never write,
U never right yall tuck ur nuts up like ur havin inward gender fights,"

^^^ Best bar everrrrrr...haha
Shit had me laughin.

Man...the way you write, I would have no idea how to re-convert those words into an audio! haha But I'm sure you could. But definately another good piece to add to ur collection. Subliminal Criminal baby!

My devotion is raised, my powers peakin like an ocean of waves,
Im viral like my flow is insane, I let it pour cuz its cold in the rain,
I ignite like a flame & a spark, to cypher the fire to aim at ur heart,
Talkin vane from the start, give u spasms like video games in the dark,
Plus on a beat, the only time ur spittin fresh is when ur brushin ur teeth,
I put the sun in retreat, so grippin my cd is when ur touchin the heat,

liked that^good shit,flow wuz decent 4 the most part,keep droppin man

i dont even drop once a week and you do,
how hypocritical how you get pissed if i ask for feedback
for one shit. You're tight nigga but you act retarded about
little shit.

when did you ask me to leave feed...? dont remember u askin me

Good shit man, Nice usage of multies throughout... good job staying on topic.. n you had some sick lines bro... keep it up!!

i Didn`t Know This Bitch Jocked Mah Title ??..

ya this was nice SYM

but R.Son why did u find this from a while back to say that

i Wasn't Lookin For it ..
i Stumbled Over it ..
Mine Was Better Anyways ..