Hip Hop Forum

Posted: **Sat Mar 08, 2008 2:45 pm**

As u can tell i was focusing more on not stretching my lines. Leave feed n I'll return the favor

u crazy thinking bout popping P, lyrically I can eat ya brittle-spits//
Og's roll wit guns in da front n back seat, now that's the true meaning of 'pistol-whip!'//

I'm a heartless bastard that won't hesitate to dead-a-dumb-bird//
I'm all about getting ma dough mayne, fuck jus gettin da first set-a-numbers!//
( Dough mayne= Domain, pretty sure u know what that is)

If my girls cheat on me, its koo, I'll let tha mac eleven-buck-those-ho's//
Lets see u how react when get the infared n put tha red dot beside 'U' like the Seven-up-logo!//

Punches be bombing-ya-chest, but my scriptz is deadly, I could harm-ya-wit-text//
N if you was jennifer singing with Aretha franklin.... you still couldn't 'Garner'-respect!//
(Jeniffer garner)

There ain't no testing-me I'm tha best-MC i don't give a fuck what u-think//
I'm a pimp yo, Proph can get a chick naked but i ain't buying her a fruit-drink!//
(Naked juice)

Posted: **Sat Mar 08, 2008 3:00 pm**

Anotha Dood On da Style lol

Posted: **Sat Mar 08, 2008 3:04 pm**

-.HaZarD.- wrote:Anotha Dood On da Style lol

Mind giving me some feeback kind sir?

Posted: **Sat Mar 08, 2008 3:20 pm**

i Wus gunna do Dat homie
i Wus just Fuckin wid u lol Wanted to see ur Reaction

Aiight..

Good job Shortenin Ya bars homie, ur Gettin dere
its Definitly Betta for your Over all Rhyme Scheme
you Come With more "Snappy" Lines if u get wud im sayin

Og's roll wit guns in da front n back seat, now that's the true meaning of 'pistol-whip!'//

Pistol Whip Shit aint Bad lol i Memba sayin Dat Same Shit.
it Wus just Worded Different.. & in My Notebook not on here

you Came decent wid Dis.. Non Stretchd Bars
Sorta Boost ya Style & Skills u Could say..

Soo.. Keep Workin On it Son
Stay Active U Asshole & u Mite keep Elevation lol

6.5-7/10.

Stay Up & Stay Active

Posted: **Sat Mar 08, 2008 5:59 pm**

Aye, you did nice here man.

Good job shortening your bars, now your punches hit quicker and they hit harder because of it. Some nice wordplay showcased here too.

You'd get even better if you stayed active, dick, lol.

Feed on "Sins have become Habit" when you get time.

Ill give the same score as Haz. It was good for shortening your bars though.

Posted: **Sun Mar 09, 2008 5:29 am**

My biggest advice would be to scratch the 7-UP/red dot thing.... That's majorly played-out.. I heard Fabolous use it on the Street Dreamz mixtape too... Not saying you bit it, just saying that it's one of those lines that would get you some serious points detracted if anyone judging you had seen it used as much as I have. The rest of the wordplay/punches were pretty nice though with solid multies. Hot verse, the red dot line was pretty much the only issue.

Posted: **Sun Mar 09, 2008 8:26 am**

^Word the Pistol Whip line is from an old apathy tape track too...Same play 'pistol-whip' just diffrent use. so that's played as well.

Posted: **Sun Mar 09, 2008 8:33 am**

Original wrote:^Word the Pistol Whip line is from an old apathy tape track too...Same play 'pistol-whip' just diffrent use. so that's played as well.

Lol until now I thought the pistol whip and Seven up punch was creative

Posted: **Sun Mar 09, 2008 2:18 pm**

woooow people can repeat some punches if they choose to, they just add their own style to it,
i dont think all of ur lines are made and thought up by only you..

good job proph, i agree that they were creative. I liked the dough mayne/domain line, real thoughtful hehe

keep it comin this drop was a 7.2/10 for me.

peace

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