Hip Hop Forum

(You got to get creative sometimes, #1 in my new series)

I love my liberation, my country, it's bitter tasting
to insult the inspiration, with accurate information
we live in the states an illiterate nation of immigrants
a racist, riveting, facing ambivalence
bewildering, place filled with rapist and fools
our children don't even feel safe in the schools
the students are exuberant, extravagant, elaborate, exquisite
terrific, magnificent, superb, and different
artistic, in contradiction; narcissistic, quitting
simplistic, in prison, pessimistic, and unwilling
sadistic, gun killing, wicked, disturbed individuals
horrific, ballistic, you can tell this person is critical
it's shifted to pivotal, 1-100 emerging as criminals
some acquitted, and others serving the minimal
cuz evidence isn't specific, all your records are digital
no perspectives original, every message political
and identical as envelopes, pitiful, subliminal
predictable, sinful, simple, and egotistical
you feel invisible, unconscious, miserable, daunted
by economics, taunted, demonic, so you smoke chronic
but it's illegal, ironic, you were being peaceful
only the evil inside the governments system is lethal
for the people, that's achievable not believable
it's inconceivable, because we are in so deep you know?
we let the storm in, global warming, where was the warning
that this was forming, was i born this morning
it seems war is all i see, inside our foreign policy
as for Iraq, am i the only one that's unsure of Maliki
if we are for equality at home why are more in poverty
the war is costly, but your only poor in coffee
so it don't matter, about the kid doing a tour in Afghanistan
you can't understand, how he can not physically stand your plan
literally, and I am sickened, that's from man to man
and seriously, listen, we are all politically a victim
by politicians, i wrote that specifically to diss them
wanna be Nixons, them hungry vixens, funny Christians
with only money ambitions, even in our countries condition
as for torture, the Guantanamo bay, prison, as a citizen
i must pontificate what country am i living in
oh yes, the riddling obsessed, belittling to death
militant, blood still fresh after killing him, best
country, you don't even to have to fill it in
diligent, belligerent, we will repair that bridge again
reverent, ignorant, greatest veterans, excellent
intelligent, celebrant, relevant technology development
elegant, the worlds elephant, every field excelling in
embarrassing, even out of war, we won't let terror win
libertarian, democrat, republican, I am American

This was some good shit dude. Excellent span of vocabulary and a wicked message. There's a lot of quoteables here but to avoid taking them all up....

it's shifted to pivotal, 1-100 emerging as criminals
some acquitted, and others serving the minimal
cuz evidence isn't specific, all your records are digital
no perspectives original, every message political
and identical as envelopes, pitiful, subliminal
predictable, sinful, simple, and egotistical
^^
That, is probably my favourite bit.

Fuck the government, anarchy rules. Rock on.

I have this to say...Your flow is on some Big L shit...But what I have to say is this some of the vocab was just too much...Like it seemed like stalling when you just kept naming words..But overall this was good, man nice topic...liked the stats in there as well..

Original wrote:I have this to say...Your flow is on some Big L shit...But what I have to say is this some of the vocab was just too much...Like it seemed like stalling when you just kept naming words..But overall this was good, man nice topic...liked the stats in there as well..

Thanks for the feedback.

I was hoping the whole vocab (rants) would come off as a little creative.

But I understood it was even going to be a hit or miss.

Thanks for the feedback man.

I appreciate you taking the time to leave it. I'll try to hit up some more of your pieces later.

this was pretty dope man, i really enjoyed the flow and vocab, i cant really relate to this for obvious reasons but this was a solid drop for the most part.. will there be a part two?

It's a series.

There will probably be 5 parts.

Thanks for the feed. I thought this thread had built in repellent.

Dude...this shit was long...mostly everyone else's long stuff i say forget it...i read it...pretty nice...i agree with both of them ^ the word for word for word kinda got annoying but it was unique as hell...anyway u can do this verbally? I wanna hear it..not just read it...good shit homie...

Return the favor...

no hate but 2 whoever wuz complainin bout vocab,what did u except,50cent words?be real.

newayz plex,good drop,flow wuz good as always n vocab wuz sick.loved this part below

only the evil inside the governments system is lethal
for the people, that's achievable not believable
it's inconceivable, because we are in so deep you know?
we let the storm in, global warming, where was the warning
that this was forming, was i born this morning
it seems war is all i see, inside our foreign policy
as for Iraq, am i the only one that's unsure of Maliki
if we are for equality at home why are more in poverty
the war is costly, but your only poor in coffee
so it don't matter, about the kid doing a tour in Afghanistan
you can't understand, how he can not physically stand your plan
literally, and I am sickened, that's from man to man
and seriously, listen, we are all politically a victim
by politicians, i wrote that specifically to diss them
wanna be Nixons, them hungry vixens, funny Christians
with only money ambitions, even in our countries condition
as for torture, the Guantanamo bay, prison, as a citizen
i must pontificate what country am i living in
oh yes, the riddling obsessed, belittling to death
militant, blood still fresh after killing him, best

prolly the best part^,great drop tho man props

I like topic you've picked, but you've displayed them with excessive use of vocabularies, I believe if you have limited you're dictions, it would've made you're written more attracting to others..Im not saying you should dumb it down, just limit you're options of words a bit. I also believe you could've added more multies into you're written, I liked it when you said

" wanna be Nixons, them hungry vixens, funny Christians "

Despite the difficulty of utilising multies in topics such as these, it would've made you're post more interesting to read

Overall, this is a very nice post, but try you're best not to over-do it

Plex back on his BS, yeah this was that good shit, seems as your flow has switched some what from the champion pieces and what not but i was feeling this piece no doubt, the flow was great switching it up, the vocab is something i can always appreciate because thats what i do, i look forward to reading the rest of this pieces no doubt about it man keep this shit coming

embarrassing, even out of war, we won't let terror win
libertarian, democrat, republican, I am American


ok it is a nice piece i really like the close you know what youre doing respect it was a little long but if it sucked i wouldn t have read it through now i gotta read the rest

Thanks dudes. Even though it was 2007, I appreciate the feedback!