Hip Hop Forum

one of the best? i'm 'not there' like jay z and nas adversity..
i dont study at a university but you stilll call me too nerdy....
cuz my books stay sturdy and my looks aint dirty...
they still want to murder me early, don't agree with diversity..
i'll leave sinners burning in flames like dis earth will be..
in a century, Jesus coming down from the heavens sequentially...
standing conventionally, like he made the landing intentionally...
killed off americans, dimensionally, for everything that descended me...
isn't it crazy you can alter the future genetically...hypothetically...
look at 'rap sheets' theres no matches, like bone marrow medically...
jumping hurdles athletically, to get through without antically...
an technically, i must have dropped down a step ya see...
cuz now nobody wants the ingredients to my recipe...
even when i was wack they were all blessing me...
i guess thats the worlds legacy this aint da vinci...
my code, is controlled, bold and headed down its own road..
i'm like president bush my secrets are untold...
rumsfeld is right when he says there is unknown unknowns..
which I've known cuz my clone is in the future feeding me information..
which he stole from future generations, complexity itself is innovation...

.

Hmm...Feedback?

it's good

nice post, it felt a little rhymy to me but i was feelin what you were saying

"cuz now nobody wants the ingredients to my recipe...
even when i was wack they were all blessing me..."

Liked that line alot

I'll just post again. Like I earlier said it's good. However, at the end it's just elementary. You rhymed untold with untold.

I know. It was a rephrase. I brought back the rhyme to show that my secrets are not untold. See what Im saying?

I didn't like the ending anyway. Actually I only like the first 4-6 bars.

This was wrote in May as well

Yeah I understood it, but you already established it with the da vinci metaphor.

Alright. I rewrote it. Not to much better. But a little more elevated. Thanks for the feedback

same favorite line that critan liked .. i didn't enjoy this as much as ur other pieces tho but it was ok