Hip Hop Forum

Posted: **Sat Feb 16, 2008 10:39 pm**

this is continuation of musical fight which i posted in the scriptures but i think its more of a poem than a writing.
musical-fight-vt7608.html << musical fight.

#2

on a cold summers night
our beat hit a dead end
if love leaves me this time
this heart will never mend
to prove this love what do you recommend?

i wanted to tell you all my secrets
but you became one instead
your suppose to be my happy ending
my true love, my best friend.

i wish i could tell you everything
but no, im sorry i just cant
suffer from achluophobia (sp?), but you
id chase you straight into the dark

i feel it much more than ive told you
more than i ever knew possible
more than i will ever tell you
more than i will ever admit to myself.

my dreams miss you
but i do reassure them
that one day we will recover this music
that is now nowhere to be found

*achluophobia: im pretty sure thats the abnormal fear of darkness. or something like that.
not as good as the first one imo, but at least im taking this a bit further.

Posted: **Sun Feb 17, 2008 4:25 am**

this wuz good sam,wish it wuz a bit longer but im glad u decided 2 do a part 2,i dont have a fav specific part cuz i liked it all but keep droppin ur gettin better =)

Posted: **Sun Feb 17, 2008 6:23 am**

i feel it much more than ive told you
more than i ever knew possible
more than i will ever tell you
more than i will ever admit to myself.

I liked that part a lot. I was wonderin if you were gonna do another part. Are you gonna do another after this?

This was good but I did like the first one better.

Posted: **Sun Feb 17, 2008 9:20 am**

The first piece was definitely better, but this wasn't bad.

my dreams miss you
but i do reassure them
that one day we will recover this music
that is now nowhere to be found
^^
Leaves it open for a third if you decide to, but still a good closing line. Good job.

Posted: **Sun Feb 17, 2008 3:51 pm**

thanks for the feed

Posted: **Mon Feb 18, 2008 10:08 pm**

hey what did you mean by (Sp?) and yes thats the correct meaning for the word....overall this was very good...

Posted: **Mon Feb 18, 2008 10:10 pm**

sp = spelling, i didnt know whether or not i spelt it correctly.

Posted: **Mon Feb 18, 2008 10:12 pm**

lol yeah it's spelled right..i felt kinda awkward thats one of my nicknames SP...

Posted: **Tue Feb 19, 2008 7:03 am**

lmao@ the whole sp thing..yeah ur so important she had to put you in

anyway i loved this sam
so much emotion as usual my fav part was:
my dreams miss you
but i do reassure them
that one day we will recover this music
that is now nowhere to be found

i liked how u personified you dreams
like ur in touch with them, very good
i think i liked this so much becus i can relate
and u know why!! lol

Posted: **Tue Feb 19, 2008 7:11 am**

you put a bunch of different rhyme schemes and different forms of structure and flow in this one, it has the similar story as the other numbers but it had a different style to ir, this is a very decent poem and very emotional. Now i know what the fear of darkness is lol

good stuff pizza face

Posted: **Tue Feb 19, 2008 7:16 am**

ahahahaha dont be jealous of my pizza addiction thanks. yea they were all one poem really, i think i threw myself into all of them, maybe the last one a bit more though. it was good to release it all

Posted: **Tue Feb 19, 2008 9:32 am**

lol she's not talking about me =[
lol sike naw...i like pizza too so share when u get some