Hip Hop Forum

I let it blow in the wind.
I tried to let it in the past.
All you want to be is friends.
I knew we wouldn't last.
In the end i'm needed but no one can find me.
i'm searching and looking but from your love i'm blinded.
from questions to reality
from days and night.
I wonder how could this be.
I'm trying but just can't fight.
All of these nightmares and dreams.
I just can't get things right.
In the end i'm gone and out of sight but yours.
I'm searching and looking for you love like i never did before.
It's over and i'm stuck on how.
I'm in so much pain right now.
Not knowing just what to do.
I need you for what i'm going through.
In the end you take my back.
I hope you do in fact.
i'm willing to change my ways just give me a chance.
I love you and pray that i can just stand.
It's the end now i'm waiting.
This feeling right now is what i'm hating.

this is depressin, meaning it was good cuz it was full of emotion, but the flow and structure is kinda off, i would know cuz structure is the first think i mastered on this site. Ey good stuff though kid keep dropping.

There's many different kind of structures...but i mean poetry you speak from your heart...for true shit..

yeah but i can't see a consistent structure dude, thats all im sayin dont get menstruated.

oh i know...i appreciate ya feed... i'm not gettin menstruated lol....

the end i'm needed but no one can find me.
i'm searching and looking but from your love i'm blinded.
from questions to reality
from days and night.
I wonder how could this be.
I'm trying but just can't fight.
All of these nightmares and dreams.

i Liked that Lil part Of it ..

Actually, I thought this was pretty deep and even intelligent.

Good job.

hmmmm explain what you mean by intelligent?

this was aight kid, emotion was there, i think if you were to add some imagery in there it would be better