Hip Hop Forum

Without a thought I force ahead
Without a glance towards my past
Better to forget what always was
Than to remember what can never be

So with the dawning of a new era
I hold my head high, my mouth clamped shut
Better to appear strong and hold the weight
Of this world that I know I'll carry alone

You cannot utter the words to ease my pain
Or hush me to a better place of silence
You control my motive or actions no more
You impeed on my thoughts or emotions no longer

I will never utter your name in a loving way
Or caress your skin like I once hath done
I will not wipe away shards of your heart disguised as tears
And tell you all will be better in the morning

The sun shines bright and warms my skin
The way you used to bring the morning warmth
A warmth like whiskey that caressed my core
Making me feel drunk on adoration

Kiss my cheeks and wish me luck
Because fate is for those not strong enough to make their own way
You stopped knowing me the day she was burried
And you burried part of you with her.

He will know nothing of my pain
Nor see remnence of the tears Ive cried
You'll figure out one day im sure
That sometimes it really is too late

I'll leave my footsteps in the sand
And when you cry, I will cry no longer
Out in the street they cried murder
But like everything else I walked away only scathed

The butterfly is no longer broken
A bullet through her made her whole
Kudos to the one who saw through her sickness
And a million thank yous from the next guy in line.

"I will never utter your name in a loving way
Or caress your skin like I once hath done
I will not wipe away shards of your heart disguised as tears
And tell you all will be better in the morning"

Good job.

Nice man. I love reading your poems, a lot of emotion in everyone and you never trail all off, you always stay consistent.

Good read. Nice drop man.

Better to appear strong and hold the weight
Of this world that I know I'll carry alone


I will not wipe away shards of your heart disguised as tears
And tell you all will be better in the morning

You stopped knowing me the day she was burried
And you burried part of you with her.


^ Favorite Lines..


Dis Shit Wus Deep.. Keep Droppin..

Double.FL wrote:The sun shines bright and warms my skin
The way you used to bring the morning warmth
A warmth like whiskey that caressed my core
Making me feel drunk on adoration

^ Excellent.^

Great detail through words...writing as if ur heart were attatched to ur fingertips.

It's really hard to compliment and share thoughts on the pieces that you write, because honestly their so good, they really just speak for themselves.

Kudos.

It's really hard to compliment and share thoughts on the pieces that you write, because honestly their so good, they really just speak for themselves.

Exactly.

Kiss my cheeks and wish me luck
Because fate is for those not strong enough to make their own way
You stopped knowing me the day she was burried
And you burried part of you with her.

He will know nothing of my pain
Nor see remnence of the tears Ive cried
You'll figure out one day im sure
That sometimes it really is too late

I'll leave my footsteps in the sand
And when you cry, I will cry no longer
Out in the street they cried murder
But like everything else I walked away only scathed

The butterfly is no longer broken
A bullet through her made her whole
Kudos to the one who saw through her sickness
And a million thank yous from the next guy in line.


drop more. i love it

wow lol what else can i say Shanda..props big time,this iz nice

I'll leave my footsteps in the sand
And when you cry, I will cry no longer
Out in the street they cried murder
But like everything else I walked away only scathed

loved that part^for some reason lol..newayz Shanda everything that cud be said about this wuz already mentioned..good job,keep it up girl ur doin just fine

Kurse wrote:Great detail through words.

i Had To Quote That Because it's True. Good Wording And Nice Similies. The Way u Put Things into Writing is Really Cool And This is Probably The Best ive Read From u. u Should Definitely Apply This Skill To Rapping Aswell Because it Gives Writing More Of a Flavour, Good Shit Ho.

Thanks asshole.


And thank you to the rest of you as well.

yeah you're right about my attempt in the concepts, i should just stick to battling lol
but real talk, this is some real shit baby<<<lol jk again

everybody here quoted different parts of this piece proving that different parts were different faves, that makes it hella nice as well. but in P.O.V. i think this was the best part:

He will know nothing of my pain
Nor see remnence of the tears Ive cried
You'll figure out one day im sure
That sometimes it really is too late

^^i felt you on that one girl :'[

Thanks for the feed.

Oh man.....


I will never utter your name in a loving way
Or caress your skin like I once hath done
I will not wipe away shards of your heart disguised as tears
And tell you all will be better in the morning



The butterfly is no longer broken
A bullet through her made her whole
Kudos to the one who saw through her sickness
And a million thank yous from the next guy in line.


^Those two stanzas were beautiful.


But this:


The sun shines bright and warms my skin
The way you used to bring the morning warmth
A warmth like whiskey that caressed my core
Making me feel drunk on adoration


^That was the best one in my opinion. Fucking excellent. The entire poem was quite good though.. The only advice I could really offer is that if you could keep up the level of writing you displayed in the Warmth Stanza for an entire poem then you will be a beast with poetry. You inspired me here... I think I may try to throw some poetry together for the first time in over a year. Lots of respect.. More poems please.

this is deep...i like it...



So with the dawning of a new era
I hold my head high, my mouth clamped shut
Better to appear strong and hold the weight
Of this world that I know I'll carry alone



that right there was my favorite out of all...

K one more cuz I really like this one lol

[ Post made via Mobile Device ]