Hip Hop Forum

aint dropped in'a while soo heres a lil somethin i did a few days ago,leave feed ill return it

listen 2 the waves n the water hit the beach
feel the passion n magic below ya feet
let the wind capture ur bones 2nite
its a different feelin im home aight
see the flame from a fire fill the air
feelin so warm but the chill iz there
calm waters move from a slight breeze
walkin on the shore as the night seems
electric,covered with a velvet sky
my dream, yea ive held it high
no remorse bathin in the sands of time
watchin life slip the these hands of mine
shackled down yet i still stand n shine
the moon like a laser it scans my mind
perception iz sharp and the plan iz fine

this was alright, it flowed really well IMO, keep dropping =)

Yooo...

I Loved the Rhyme scheme Son.. & the Multies.. that Shit wus So Smooth..
So much Description yo.. Even if its Little it Shows ur Growth as a Writer..
How u Made me Feel Like i Wus Dere how Much i Described it..



calm waters move from a slight breeze
walkin on the shore as the night seems
electric,covered with a velvet sky
my dream, yea ive held it high
no remorse bathin in the sands of time
watchin life slip the these hands of mine
shackled down yet i still stand n shine <------- Ill
the moon like a laser it scans my mind
perception iz sharp and the plan iz fine


This wus Good Homie.. Next Time Drop more Aiight?? ...

thanks,uppin

Good shit, but it's really short. Make it longer next time.


Rock on.

good shit yo... keep dropin






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Well, this was to short for me to praise it.

It's an alright concept. The flow was on point.

Maybe you can add a second verse to it later.

Keep at it.