Hip Hop Forum

i thought id switch it up and try a new style ive never used before please leave feed and i`ll return the favour



kids neglected growin up
they live alone
coz their mums a ho`n slut
she aint ever home
all our hopes got a flaw
every woman and mans broke
sniffin coke through a straw
cause they aint got no banknotes
lil girls havin babies,
to get the child benefits,
but spend it like they crazy,
the child never benefits
no pleasant sounds n sights
just cop sirens and scars,
kids barley know how to write
but can hot wire a car
we aint seein no protection
all we get is "freeze now"
and illegal inspections
you`ll get jailed if you sneeze loud
no parks or trees
just used needles on pavements
our hearts diseased
thats the evil we`re raised with
armed with revolvers n knifes
everyones holdin a grudge
god aint involved in our lives
so their aint no one to judge
i got stabbed aged 14
we knifed him back,
the same ol routine,
fuck a life like that

The rhyme scheme was pretty tight.

The flow was good.

Obviously, I loved the concept. A more difficult subject than most people usually deal
with in the scriptures.

Though, I thought, it wasn't as focused at it could have been.

It's still a great start to a different style.

I don't know, if I like this style all the way. That is to say, you could work on incorporating, strong parts of this style with your own, which is a much more polished flow.

I like this style, but it lacks the creativity of your other style.

Both are lacking originality.

You took this topic and don't put any new spin on it.

"no pleasant sounds n sights
just cop sirens and scars,
kids barley know how to write
but can hot wire a car
we aint seein no protection
all we get is "freeze now"
and illegal inspections
you`ll get jailed if you sneeze loud "

Everyone who has rapped has said something like that verse.

Obviously, this is being very critical but it's to give you an idea of my perspective and possibly others.

Overall though, I thought it was solid.

"everyones holdin a grudge
god aint involved in our lives
so their aint no one to judge "

I don't get this line? From my experience, everybody judges each other and that's a failure of our society? Including God, if you're connected with an organized religion.More importantly modernized cultures. Maybe, I just contend with that point of view or better yet digress.

It's nice, to get an intellectual discussion out of a scripture someone drops.

"i got stabbed aged 14
we knifed him back,
the same ol routine,
fuck a life like that"

I like how you're looking at all the absolutes in that particular topic. You bring up a couple scenarios with the situation and execute it, I think that's a satisfactory conclusion to the topic as well.

I'm personally weak as fuck at finishers about 90 percent of the time. Sometimes, you just know what to say at the end.

I would have to assume, you meant all this bullshit, and it's a never ending cycle?

Reviewing the whole drop, I have to say these were my favorite lines.

"armed with revolvers n knifes
everyones holdin a grudge
god aint involved in our lives
so their aint no one to judge "

Although, I might disagree slightly. I have a feeling you -- double checked that to make sure it came off correctly. And I like the rhyming/thought that went into it.

Overall, 7.8/10, and I'm excited to see you back. It will be interesting to see where you go from here.

thanks Plex. I think thats the best feed ive ever had on here. The "no god so their aint no one to judge" line was kinda a response to people such as 2pac who say "only god can judge me" if you dont believe in god then who gives a shit.

cee my man this wuz cool..liked how u changin ur flow n shit like u said u wud..i think u cud pull it off if u keep doin it as u are..but this wuz pretty good..fav bars were

lil girls havin babies,
to get the child benefits,
but spend it like they crazy,
the child never benefits
no pleasant sounds n sights
just cop sirens and scars,
kids barley know how to write
but can hot wire a car

good shit^..the rest was str8 too..keep it up

this shit was simple, quick and dope.

no parks or trees
just used needles on pavements
our hearts diseased
thats the evil we`re raised with
armed with revolvers n knifes
everyones holdin a grudge
god aint involved in our lives
so their aint no one to judge
i got stabbed aged 14
we knifed him back,
the same ol routine,
fuck a life like that

this was my favorite part of the verse dude

I Thought This Was A Solid Piece. The Beginning Was Kinda Weak But As You Went On It Got Dope.
Other Then The First Few Lines, I Think You Executed This Piece All The Way Through. When I First
Saw The Topic I Figured This Whole Flow Would Be Played Out An A Waste Of Time To Read But I
Was Wrong, Not Bad Man, Keep Droppin. B E Z