Hip Hop Forum

Not mah best work. It's abit rushed. Dont be harsh.

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I look over my vast-`land lookin at mah slaves workin at the task-`at-`hand
if all were to die i would most def be the last-`man, say ur prayers mutherfucker coz this is ya last-`chance .//.
I'm the pharaoh-`of the-`streets im at the top-`of the-`nation
let me show-`you-`freaks why i'm God's-`perfect-`creation .//.
i rule the world with an iron-`fist, stab my enemies in the back like no bygons-`hits
i tell my homies to ride on-`bitch, as i grab my fo fo and slide-`in the-`clip .//.
roll the window-down, do it slow-`make no-`sound
my trigger fingers-`itching as i pull the trigger down .//.
people dont thank me for my-`work, think that i shine then fade away just like fire-`works
it doesnt matter, from my gun i let-`it-`burst, the truth make no sense to me a little lie-`never-`hurts .//.
i'll blow enemies minds away like a bad case of down-`syndrome
fill ya face with slugs leave ya on the street freely flowin-`from ya-`dome .//.
when im with a hoe its just blowblow-`bust
i'll break you open like an island coco-`nut .//.
ring ring raiza sharpe speakin whats-`happenin
nothin much, just straight flat ass-`cappin and
the occasional stabbing in-`and-`out, you so confused i got you twirlin-`around
for you, my friend the situation is dire like a world-`title-`bout .//.
dont take me the wrong-`way its just been a long-`day
didn't pick up everytime the phone-`rang, just looked at the ceiling and listened as the song-`softly-`sang .//.

die .. muthafucka .. die .........

thanks for the feeed. i get what ya mean tgyh.

uppin for more feed.

or


I look over my vast-`land lookin at mah slaves workin at the task-`at-`hand
if all were to die i would most def be the last-`man, say ur prayers mutherfucker coz this is ya last-`chance .//.

as i look over my vast land, lookin at my slaves workin at the task at hand
if all were to die id be the last ta stand, say ya prayers motherfuckers cuz its ya last damn chance

^^ somethin like that ta keep the flow goin ya know

youre deffo gettin better though homie keep doin you

An illusion of an allusion, confusing? look at styles dudes using.

Prove to me you wrote this and I'll leave feedback.

how do i prove it to you? Are you saying that i stole this whole piece?

It's my piece for sure. i didn't bite one bit of it.


EDIT: Pics to prove it's mine






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just uppin for plex.

No disrespect, but I want to make sure you're on the straight path.

I did notice the line you bite that Hazard posted. Apparently nobody else did.

Overall, it was pretty slick, good usage of words, and some clever plays on words.

The flow was straight.

The rhymes were decent.

The concept was alright.

Keep it up.

Have u Ever Even Seen a Real Gun? Or Are u Just Rapping About The 'Streets' u Hear Guys Like 2Pac Talk About?

Because i Don't Really Like it When 13 Year Old Middle Class Kids Start Rapping About Guns And Crime Like They're Living in Compton, Lmao.

Yeah i Read Like 2 Lines ill Leave Some Feed Later Probably.

in aussie crime is much diffrent for teens, there doing drugs and doing graff.. thats about it.. but domino.. everyone has talked about guns in there drops before.

yeh yeh ive never seen or touched a gun, but i just needed a topic to write on.
thanks for the feed plex.

this was pretty good. a lot better than usual. i mean a lot better. i can see why Plex thought u may not have wrote it. anyway you could of copied and pasted it to your wordpad. that dosent prove anyting. Personally im not sure if u wrote it or not but if u did well done you improving.

i could have called it that world of warcraft would be on your desk top lol

SequencE wrote:everyone has talked about guns in there drops before.

I haven't, and I don't see any reason for doing it either..

what would i achieve by biting this whole piece and putting it on here? i'd just be fooling myself.

Thanks for the feed cee4. much appreciated. And as i said before i just needed a topic lol.