Hip Hop Forum

we got like the image of women transforming into titties and ass
choosin gold diggin lifestyle, thinkin money in the city come fast
it don't, so they find alternative ways like starring in a music video
crawlin all over guys and u're amazed that they choose to call u a hoe?
and on the opposite u have ladies tryna make it within the business section
gettin harassed by their boss, exchangin promotion for kisses and action
we've misunderstood and i'm the only dude who has the balls to say it
I'll print my rhymes across walls at the radio station 2 make sure u play it
lay down bar for bar like Pac and tell u to keep your head up ladies,
brenda tossed enough babies in the garbage, it's a carnage in here
it's a shame how they pop pussy for dimes, u can't hush me when i rhyme
try to touch me this time and u'll be grabbin the air like an air-guitar
I walk wit the youth and talk the truth when i'm up in the booth
writin about the ruthless reality as it smothers our beloved ladies
u'll be like it doesn't matter cause my mother sent my brother to save me
it's time to wake up and make up your mind, learn how to stand up
u gotta man up, cause even tho he's family he won't be there forever
close your legs and don't expose yourself, i guess the less the better
wait till u got your thoughts assembled, and don't gamble on it
U'll regret and sit up all night cuttin yourself while u tremble and vomit
wishin u could turn back time, don't be another who learns from mistakes
it burns and depraves and it'll turn u all into slaves of your own horror
hopin for a better tomorrow, but that sorrow still eats up your soul
your feet are outta control, u'll be fallin apart like pieces of mold
it'll never treat u like gold, so u got to get your mind straight
this time take the precautions and your body'll break the extortion
everybody hate an abortion, so there's no use in takin it to that level
make up your mind and take your time - U only got one life...

Shit that was awesome. It was deep and meaningful. sure the flow wasnt absolutely perfect but the message was great.
9/10 bro. mad work.

B-bear this was nothing like your other drops..your very versatile.. even though i like your other topics and writtens better then this one, none of the less this still was pretty straight some good lines, and a realistic concept really get the readers in the vibe, and i thought you done that, i didnt lose intrest.. even thought i thought your first and second bar was the worst bars in the whole verse..

ill brake it down..

we got like the image of women transforming into titties and ass
choosin gold diggin lifestyle, thinkin money in the city come fast

ok there was no perfect rhyme .. but for a opener. it could have been more attention grabbing

it don't, so they find alternative ways like starring in a music video
crawlin all over guys and u're amazed that they choose to call u a hoe?

ok another no perfect rhyme witch made the flow not flow at all really.. could be my accent...

and on the opposite u have ladies tryna make it within the business section
gettin harassed by their boss, exchangin promotion for kisses and action

yeah dude ^ i can really under stand this bar good shit!

we've misunderstood and i'm the only dude who has the balls to say it
I'll print my rhymes across walls at the radio station 2 make sure u play it

yep this was straight punch was there

lay down bar for bar like Pac and tell u to keep your head up ladies,
brenda tossed enough babies in the garbage, it's a carnage in here

^ this is wear i started getting real intrested in your drop.

|it's a shame how they pop pussy for dimes, u can't hush me when i rhyme
try to touch me this time and u'll be grabbin the air like an air-guitar

ehh this bar was a little.. basic if thats the write word

I walk wit the youth and talk the truth when i'm up in the booth
writin about the ruthless reality as it smothers our beloved ladies

^ nice flow was really there that bar

u'll be like it doesn't matter cause my mother sent my brother to save me
it's time to wake up and make up your mind, learn how to stand up

yeah getting the msg.. but a little simple for your standards

u gotta man up, cause even tho he's family he won't be there forever
close your legs and don't expose yourself, i guess the less the better

lol ^ one of my fav bars in this verse

wait till u got your thoughts assembled, and don't gamble on it
U'll regret and sit up all night cuttin yourself while u tremble and vomit

^ yeah this bar is another stand out

wishin u could turn back time, don't be another who learns from mistakes
it burns and depraves and it'll turn u all into slaves of your own horror

pretty good flow threw me off a little

hopin for a better tomorrow, but that sorrow still eats up your soul
your feet are outta control, u'll be fallin apart like pieces of mold

alright.. not the best but it works

it'll never treat u like gold, so u got to get your mind straight
this time take the precautions and your body'll break the extortion

vocab is there in this bar..more like your other drops

i would of liked to see abit more vocab but concept was cool and overall this was pretty good...

hows that for feedback?

Lol, best feedback I've ever seen u do! Haha, happy now?

Thanks man.. actually, the funny part is that the piece ya'll didn't like, the beginnin was a piece of a written I wrote a while ago.. after this line;

"lay down bar for bar like Pac and tell u to keep your head up ladies,
brenda tossed enough babies in the garbage, it's a carnage in here "

the rest was pretty much close to a keystyle.. it only took me like 20-30 minutes to put it together.. i was really suprised myself.. lol..

but anyway, thank u for takin time to leave feedback ya'll!! Appreciate it!! I'll return the favour..

Uppiiin!!

Uppin for feedback ya'll!

coo was really feelin the pac references and the overall concept

first 2/3 of it was fire and i caught the flow after that was ok fell off a little imo

and after that with

it'll never treat u like gold, so u got to get your mind straight
this time take the precautions and your body'll break the extortion
everybody hate an abortion, so there's no use in takin it to that level
make up your mind and take your time - U only got one life...

it picked right back up

nice job with this

thanks.. much appreciated!!

UPPIN for feedback ya'll