Hip Hop Forum

http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/post54676.html



Buyin more guns to supply the fortress, lyrics to revive the portraits..
Heat in the street keep the fire scorchin, went from ridin on them iron horses
To being on the front cover of your vibes and sources..
My resource is, a microphone, the sword of a true lyricist..
Fill the clip with bullets, and squeeze the trig till ya feel it hit..
Try to kick it, I see some of yall got rhymes but mine is wicked..
Survivalistic linger, rap singer with his finger on the iron biscuit..
Scientific concepts when I depict it, so try to analyze the life I live in
I kill radio waves when they receive me on it, complete with techniques I flaunted
My face seen around the city like trains with graffiti on it
Indeed I'll beat ya, speak discrete to get my speech to reach ya
Cuz on the streets ive seen more Essays than a English Teacher
The chrome I thrust, in a different zone from the smoke and dust
I'm flowin plus, im an older kid with a swollen grip on the rover clutch
Coke is rushed through my system, time running out like seconds on the clock
Been ten years since the death of Pac, so im still reppin till my seconds stop
Stay corrective with my perception, thoughts of sexing the block
I like to fuck a bitch On the Floor, keep two hands on the four
Im a motherfuckin God Of WaR

Buyin more guns to supply the fortress, lyrics to revive the portraits..
Heat in the street keep the fire scorchin, went from ridin on them iron horses
To being on the front cover of your vibes and sources..

^^definitely the highlight of this verse

started off real strong and the rest was good
flow kinda chopped at the end but nice drop homie
keep doin ya thang
W.A.R.

"Survivalistic linger, rap singer with his finger on the iron biscuit..
Scientific concepts when I depict it, so try to analyze the life I live in"

I like the rhyme scheme you were going for here, something like Nas, but
the iron biscuit?

I've never heard that terminology used before.

"Buyin more guns to supply the fortress, lyrics to revive the portraits..
Heat in the street keep the fire scorchin, went from ridin on them iron horses
To being on the front cover of your vibes and sources"

Word. That's one of the sickest bars, I've read in a while. Getting all medieval on us.

"Fill the clip with bullets, and squeeze the trig till ya feel it hit..
Try to kick it, I see some of yall got rhymes but mine is wicked.. "

Oh yah? All that is to me is rhymes. Not much creativity behind them.

"Coke is rushed through my system, time running out like seconds on the clock
Been ten years since the death of Pac, so im still reppin till my seconds stop"

Eh. It's alright.

"Stay corrective with my perception, thoughts of sexing the block
I like to fuck a bitch On the Floor, keep two hands on the four
Im a motherfuckin God Of WaR"

Word. Horrible ending.

All the other bars, I didn't quote were just mediocre.

In reality, you kept on topic pretty good. Especially when you were adding in little words like science, iron, horses, it gave the drop an overall sense of purpose.

You still didn't stay on topic remarkably, but it's a broad one.

When I break it down, it's not as good, as when you look at it as a whole.

I enjoyed this piece overall. It was worth the read, etc. Keep dropping, actually - cross that. Drop more. That's the best way to improve.

The first part was tight, the last wasn't that good.. kinda fell off a bit, it just lacked that lil something u know.. usually i don't really like that many pieces about guns, drugs and stuff like that - but i foiund this one entertaining.. u stayed pretty well on topic, could've been more creative and methaphorical in your interpretation of God of War, but anyway.. i like it! keep it comin!!