Hip Hop Forum

Due in three days.

16 lines

The topic is....

Pick One...

A letter to your European pen pal
Haunted by a dead celebrity
Your life is a lie
Daydreaming
Trapped at sea
When the moon is full I..
Sleep walking
The diary of a serial killer
Dirty gym socks
The last place on Earth I'd want to be
Your morning wood
Kidnapped
Teenage runaway
Finding bigfoot
My funeral service
The village idiot
Campfire horror stories
Blackout

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Tell us which one before you begin writing.

Thank you 8th for the topic list.

When the moon is full I..

Sleep walking

Standin with eyes raised open n my face swollen,
walkin in the dark in a paced motion,
i followed a small light to a place glowin,
noticed my feet pass puddles with no trace showin,
it feels as if my heart was punctured n just started to bleed,
and the further i go, it just gets harder to breathe,
deeper n deeper, i lose my sense of smellin n hearin,
lost my sight of vision, but FELT my self disappearin,
well its clear then, my only way out is towards the light,
like a soldier who fights, i keep pushin forward with might,
in my mind i hear voices askin me why, but i'm incapable of answerin them,
suddenly time stops, my life flashin me by, and the pain spreads like a cancer within,
i close and open my eyes in agony, back to reality, but the problem's i'm awake,
immobilized and blinded, all i can really see now is the bottom of a lake
lungs collapsed, trying to gasp for air will only defeat the purpose,
and its too late to turn back, i'm already beneath the surface....

the worst curse assumes me when the moon is full the thirst consumes me
pursue the first to cross my path the beast is unleashed and bursting through me
my mental stand is that the death of man.. well its all part of a demented plan
stemmed from the center of my hand etched in flesh is sketched out a pentagram
drooling from my rabid teeth insomnia and insanity seem ta ravage me
and every time i think that i have it beat i engage in a medley of unfathomed rage, filled with savage beats
was once a man but that humanity was stolen seeing nothing but red now and i cant control it
until you play my role you dont know what cold is my life is fighting for its soul but i cant console it
the beast has marked me i can see and smell blood and i can feel your heartbeat
leavin nothin but a carcus and scarred meat the moon is a full sphere and i am breathin with dark heat
lock me up chain me throw away the key try but i told you theres no way of containing me
theres no restraints that can hold me the only way out is a silver bullet through the medula to seperate this pain from me
clothes torn ta shreds minds dormant my hands form again as i transform back into a man
beat my fists to the earth and the sky the razor canines retreat into the back of my glands
the thirst is sustained maybe i think im able to contain it
until the next time the rage hits again, when theres a full moon I... I cant explain it

over all you both did aight, rhino it seems to me like you tried to hard, it didnt flow very well and there was really no consistancy in your verse. ekoms your verse was ill in parts and aight in others, you never really fell off to far and you stayed on topic nice.


EKOMS

Flow: 12
Multis/Rhyme Scheme: 9
Originality: 9
Wordplay/Sims/Metas: 8
Stays On Topic: 18
Execution Of Topic: 4

Rh1No

Flow: 9
Multis/Rhyme Scheme: 7
Originality: 7
Wordplay/Sims/Metas: 7
Stays On Topic: 17
Execution Of Topic: 3

Vote: Ekoms

Ekoms

Flow 14
Multis/Rhyme scheme 8
Originality 9
Wordplay 8
Stays On Topic 17
Execution of Topic 5



Rhino

Flow 10
Multis/Rhyme scheme 8
Originality 8
Wordplay 8
Stays On Topic 16
Execution of Topic 4


Both verse were good and they both stayed on topic . Ekoms was just was easier to read and the ending was nice.


Vote Ekoms

lets keep this goin so the tourney can continue

wat's goin on with this, lets get some votes in... lets not make this another never-ending tournament

Honestly i think the voting system puts people off voting. People are to pussy to vote one way or the other if its close.

It's not the voting system as much as the people who will bitch about your vote.

Its a bit too complicated tho. It took me ages to vote in the text battles by the time i added up all that shit. Seems like im the only person thats got the balls to vote. Why are people scared to vote?

dont care if someone votes for or against me..just vote

same... i guess i can agree with wat c4 said bout it taking longer to vote with the whole voting system.. there's more analyzing to it.. which is kinda how i vote nearly every battle i vote on where i end up rereading each verse about 5 times as i process each category one at a time.. either way.. get the damn votes in already

Alright. You don't need to use the voting system.