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Chuck Norris Jokes
Posted: Tue Jul 10, 2007 9:18 am
by Lawgix
thought this would be fun
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Posted: Tue Jul 10, 2007 10:06 am
by RH1NO
these arent JOKES theyre FACTS
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
Posted: Tue Jul 10, 2007 10:14 am
by Kurse
Chuck Norris doesn't push himself off the ground when doing push-ups...
...no no no...don't be silly...
...he's simply just pushing the entire earth down.
Posted: Tue Jul 10, 2007 10:20 am
by RH1NO
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Posted: Tue Jul 10, 2007 10:21 am
by 8th
Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar immediately collapsed.
That amount of awesome cannot be contained.
[Chuck Norris jokes a reallllly old]
Posted: Tue Jul 10, 2007 10:23 am
by RH1NO
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Posted: Tue Jul 10, 2007 10:23 am
by RH1NO
Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.
Posted: Tue Jul 10, 2007 10:24 am
by RH1NO
Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lay the fuck down
Posted: Tue Jul 10, 2007 11:35 am
by precise
chuck norris went to a soccer game.. after realizing that no one had brought a ball he then convinced the referees to use a human baby instead. soon after he proceeded to bang every girl in the stadium
chuck norris decided to go and get an egg mcmuffin for breakfast. arriving 10 minits too late to be served anything off the breakfast menu, he got pissed, and kicked that mcdonalds so hard that it turned into a burger king
Posted: Tue Jul 10, 2007 11:39 am
by Lawgix
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Posted: Tue Jul 10, 2007 12:01 pm
by Cee4
People created the automobile to escape from Chuck Norris...Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris created the automobile accident.
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
Chuck Norris wears a live rattlesnake as a condom.
Chuck Norris invented the internet… just so he had a place to store his porn.
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
Posted: Tue Jul 10, 2007 12:05 pm
by RH1NO
Chuck Norris clips his toenails with a chain saw. But he holds it backwards.
Posted: Tue Jul 10, 2007 12:05 pm
by RH1NO
Chuck Norris's belly button is actually a power outlet.
Posted: Tue Jul 10, 2007 12:07 pm
by RH1NO
Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
Posted: Tue Jul 10, 2007 12:11 pm
by RH1NO
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement
Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!
To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.
At the end of each week, Chuck Norris murders a dozen white people just to prove he isn't a racist.