Hip Hop Forum

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Wrote this so i can stop the "writers block"

A Da Vinci to the game creating lyrical masterpieces
messages that have a thesis, there to elevate as my rap increases
A great mystery, destined to make history
always consuming defeat and ready to taste victory
As i breeze through the haters, i let my pen bleed through the paper
this lyrical talent is the reason im greater
The young phenom defeating foes and opponents
im holding the moment cause i've been chosen to own it
Expressing with lyrics the emotions i feel
expose and reveal so you know that it's real
And i can't explain in words what i say in a verse
i'll be true to the game till i lay in the dirt
My purpose is to let the truth be told
from when i get in a booth till my youth gets old

i think this flowed well. and it was ok for something quick and little.

nice little drop there fam

havent seen anything from you in a while

but there was def some dope shit inthis piece

A great mystery, destined to make history
always consuming defeat and ready to taste victory

good job son

Thanx for the feed so far.
I'm just writing all kinds of things to get back into the whole "writing scene."
I figure after writing a few things, its really time for me to step my game up.

This Was Alright, i liked the bar da guy said and your first one

this was alright for something short, flow was abit off wordplay was good
Yeah i hate getting writters block too, this drop probley over came it i recion

anyway this was good in some parts.! stay up

You built me up big time with this and let me down hard with the last line... You came strong all the way through, but then the last line fell short of the rest of the piece because "truth be told" only sort of rhymes with "youth gets old"... Everything else was on fire...

Also, if I may, you should've definitely went plural with "paper" in this line:

"As I breeze through the haters, I let my pen bleed through the paperS."

And in this line:

"And i can't explain in words what i say in a verse
i'll be true to the game till i lay in the dirt"

...change 'dirt' to hearse, as it rhymes more smoothly with 'verse'...

I know I'm sweating something that was supposed to be "quick", but when I see something I really like, I try to break it down. Your flow was on point, your rhyme scheme was buttaz and the whole thing flowed smoothly. I look forward, with great anticipation, to seeing more from you.

Thanx, When I read over it i thought i should've changed it to..Good eye man..

this was decent

altho, the first bar captivated me, it was good, n other than the first bar i was kinda let down buddy

overall it was a great verse, but it seemed like i could predict it all

your definately on the right track with it tho

good shit man

lemme correct that, it was the first 2 bars that had me captivated not just the first

Very nice drop Mex...I really enjoyed reading it. I'm not one to normally leave feed in the scriptures because I'm more of an audio guy...but I do feel the need to read other areas of the site and leave feed in those areas that I feel truely deserve feed. This is one of 'em. So congrats on making a verse solid verse. It'd be good to see you transition into audio one of these days. If you have good mic presence...then I think you'd have alot to contribute to the audio world.

Great job and keep droppin. This was an ill peice.

verse was pretty sick

first 2 bars were dope, the rest was pretty basic and decent, but the words you used and how you used them made it better.... i think everything has been said so keep it up man.

it was alright to me i guess.. u started of great, then u dropped heavily.. flow turned choppy.. but as a step towards gettin that feelin again, i guess it's straight.. some historical shit in it.. i liked that