Hip Hop Forum

i feel like a rose that cant open up,my leaves are dying
feeling weathered and weak,'i need water' is what im crying
the clouds block my sunlight,and my seeds need to blossom
but now that my sun is blocked,my owner cant watch em
im soaking up all i can from the ground below
but theres only so much to get,since its so cold
my roots are freezing and i cant maintain
my functions are decreasing and im in pain
the moon cant be out forever right,its gotta rain
before my life is wiped out and i become slain

Pretty Decent Man, Coulda Have Added Abit More Vocab And Flow Was Alright..
But Yeah If You Can Fix It Up And Reword It Abit, It Would Make it hella solid

FAV BARS

i feel like a rose that cant open up,my leaves are dying
feeling weathered and weak,'i need water' is what im crying
the clouds block my sunlight,and my seeds need to blossom
but now that my sun is blocked,my owner cant watch em

kool kool..thanks 4 the feed..uppin

it was koo.. i was expecting something else tho from the title.. like people dieing from dehydration and heat strokes or somethin of that sort

koo koo..thanks 4 the feed

"kool kool..thanks 4 the feed"
"koo koo..thanks 4 the feed"
lol.
but seriously...
i like it.
Fav line
"my functions are decreasing and im in pain
the moon cant be out forever right,its gotta rain"

thanks man..that wasnt my personal fav bar but thanks man

This was a decent piece...
It flowed nicely and meant something...
Feeling this...