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quick key

Posted: Mon Jun 11, 2007 7:56 am
by RH1NO
ekoms-diss-vt5416.html


if i was ta wreck- this, shit would be wreck-less/

10 car pile up you a fender bender that couldnt dent my neck-lace/

but im too spent- ta- check- it, on some protect -ya- neck shit/

leave you with no way out when you expect- an- exit/

if i dont like- you, you can expect a fight- dude/

on some bob segar shit workin on night- moves/

throw a right- hook n watch ya fly- outta -ya- righ-t shoe/

you think ya tight but you cant find- the- right -lube/

yo im smoother than-lotion- puttin- plans- in -motion/

handin- doses of antidote(antic dote) , potent -enough- ta- withstand- explosions/

tweedle dum and tweedle- dee -da- dee- deedle/

ill inject ya ovaries -wit- diseased- heated -needles/

im sicker than michael keaton in the scenes -where- hes- eatin- beetles/

ya see ya schemes- ta -defeat- me- are f-eeble/

switchin positions ill have ya rockin- in- fetal/

weeble wobbles dont wobble but im watchin -'em -weeble/

box -in -place wit the shadows, spittin- toxic- waste/

rockin a bionic -cape, shatter pelvic bones so hips- lock- in- place/

my brain needs innoculation from ox-y-gen/

crazy n derranged, i proclaim that next year the detox- will- win/

the verdicts out but the doc-tors- in, my thoughts.. inter-locked -with- sin/

and inter-twined- with- rage they should give- my- mind- a- cage/

ill shine -fa- days n spray lines- nine- ways until ya spine- is- grazed/

Posted: Mon Jun 11, 2007 9:11 am
by -TraMaTiK-
this was ok..kinda simple..i seen better from u man..structure was ehh idk..ur first bar had 2lines..the rest of em had 3?check that...up ur vocab a bit 2..and use more punches n creativily..well thats what i think..keep it up tho..peaCe

-Tramatik

Posted: Mon Jun 11, 2007 10:02 pm
by MesaR
tweedle dum and tweedle dee da dee deedle/

Da Fuuuuuuuck?

I Kno Ur Good!. But Thiss Man.. Ive seen better
Flow Was Choopy But Anyways Stay Up..

Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2007 2:15 am
by RH1NO
thanks for takin time ta leave feed fellas



just added some to this

Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2007 3:52 am
by RH1NO
uppin feed

Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2007 2:47 pm
by Momeijah
Well i Mean it Was Pretty Good.
Flow Was a Bit FUCK NO at Times Haha, Only The Few Long Lines u Had Dragged On So Word.
Nice Use Of Vocab And Multis, Creativeness Has Definitely improved. And This Didn't Bore Me Either, Keep it Up Even Though This Wasn't ur Best Piece.

Posted: Wed Jun 13, 2007 6:57 am
by RH1NO
appreciate the feed domino
thanks for takin time ta leave some

Posted: Wed Jun 13, 2007 11:50 am
by 16 Micz
not bad at all in my opinion, i definitely liked the gutta approach that you took at this...the flow was good, im sure it would sound good on audio....the rhyming was ok, i mean nothin special but the punchlines(if i may) were attention grabbers....keep it up though...

Posted: Mon Jun 18, 2007 12:59 am
by RH1NO
thanks for the feed

been tryin some new shit

uppin feed

Posted: Wed Jun 20, 2007 5:52 pm
by BigP
shit was incredibly fire, keep it up man.

Posted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 4:40 pm
by RH1NO
appreciate the feed fam