Hip Hop Forum

ok so this is the first drop of all u assholes criticising me.
since no one gave me a topic like i asked, i thought id start myself off by jus repping myself sorta
let me know how this wen. ill say what i thought of it at the bottom


Outta all three Sam's im the nicest, As nice as you please
However every now and again, My alto ego can get to me
Then its miss bitch to you, Get on your fucking knees
You can look but you cant touch, Im just a fucking tease
pick up the phone, call triple 0 coz this queens on fire
tell them you wana know how to save your desire
the name SAM short for Shutup And Moan
coz u no u all wana make me groan
too bad i wont do it over the fone
watch me closely coz BOOM im alike a bomb
3 seconds and im gone
im faster than lightening, and i can hit just as hard
so i must be frightnening
i put aphrodite on show, she knows who the real goddess is
ill rip her heart in two, show her what real love means
coz shes up against ladysam
miss 'u better not fuck with me'

explanations:
moaning and fone - obviously talking bout fone sex coz i dnt no any of u in real life
triple 0 (000) - emergency fone calls in aus


i liked this, however its not like my best or anything, i rote most of it at college coz im gay
i tried to be as original as possible. dnt particularly like the SAM blabla line i think it sucks but it was all i culd think of. let me know what u think

I would give this a 4/10.

There were no real quotables.

The entire rap was basically about having phone sex which could be interesting yet seemed to be lackluster.

I suggest expanding your topics. It seems every time I read a drop from the Sam's they are talking about sex.

I don't have any problems with this but it does get a little repetitive.

I don't know if this piece had subliminals aimed at the other Sam's. That probably wouldn't be a brilliant idea.

You seem to have less experience than them.

"im faster than lightening"

Try to avoid saying things that you have probably heard before. Be a little more creative and original.

I'm sure this will be a 9/10 drop when the rest of these people give feedback.

Even that or they will follow my lead. Nobody ever seems to give real feedback besides if someone else sets a precedent.

By the way. If you're going to college. I suggest you stop typing like you haven't reached middle school.

"explanations:
moaning and fone - obviously talking bout fone sex coz i dnt no any of u in real life
triple 0 (000) - emergency fone calls in aus"

I'm not hating just telling you the truth because besides Jesus not many people will actually spend the time to be that nice.

lol thanks this was actually the type of feed i was after.
only that one bar was actually about phone sex, but if thats how the verse came across then i totally did it wrong. it wasn't meant to be like that at all. and this was definately not aimed at the other sams, i don't even know why you'd think that.
and lmao@ me being all paranoid about my typing. thanks plex good job. but i don't see how thats a problem, i can type like a middle school student on the net if i like thank you bye
p.s i know i have less experience than them, i thought u all knew that

I saw it, I read it, I have feedback for you but I'll get really detailed later on when I have some more time. and ilu!

didnt dig this at all, you can come alot harder and more original than that, and i would give detail feed but PLEX already did that in full, plus im lazy, so jus go off of what PLEX told you. and keep doin what you do.

drop a fuckin link jesus

Aight Exactly what complex said...You should jus start off with somethin simple..Here imma give u a topic..try n have a structure lika everyone else..

kjshfjdhfvbdfbhvhjfbvjhfbdvjhb....
sjkdhfjkghjkhgkjhgkfjhgkjfhgjh....

When You have somethin like
sjdhfkjhkj...
jksdghjfjkdfhgjkhdkfjghdfjkhgkjsdfhgkjf..

Somethng is wrong..Go over the the schools of elevation n read a lot of those..even if u did u need some review of them..Also look at other ppls work..like complex n ppl who r great textcees..dont copy them or try to be them jus so u can get an idea..

Next Topic...Life(no need for sex or nething like that)

lol@ that sounding liek something plex would write. anywhoos thanks, im tryna get better and i get three comments, beauty. i guess my next drop is about life. ill get on that soon. till then check out my 'second drop'

step 1 - getting a life first

LOL..

aww thank u for reminding us u didnt have a life dj =)

i was gonna type something really mean up but i decided not to, instead i won't pick on you for a change

you're not bad at writing, you're just basic, don't be discouraged by it, theres dudes on here that have been writing for years and are still really basic. you're not completely unattractive, you just choose a bad pic for your avatar you look like you didn't sleep in a week before you took it or your ethopian or from a country near there, i looked @ your myspace when i checked my friends request and you look pretty cute in some pics

you're just a really easy target to pick on, don't feel special like i picked you out of all the losers to pick on, i just say whatever comes to my mind... i'm not going to be superficial and sugarcoat what i'm thinking to not pick on you or say anything mean towards you cause you're a girl on a forum, because well... i actually get laid so i don't need to put on a fake fascade of chivalry to impress women on the net

awww *sheds a tear*

I think this is the first time I've seen him say some REALLY nice words, *marks it on the calender and circles it in red*

Go Sammy!

drunken jesus wrote:i was gonna type something really mean up but i decided not to, instead i won't pick on you for a change

you're not bad at writing, you're just basic, don't be discouraged by it, theres dudes on here that have been writing for years and are still really basic. you're not completely unattractive, you just choose a bad pic for your avatar you look like you didn't sleep in a week before you took it or your ethopian or from a country near there, i looked @ your myspace when i checked my friends request and you look pretty cute in some pics

you're just a really easy target to pick on, don't feel special like i picked you out of all the losers to pick on, i just say whatever comes to my mind... i'm not going to be superficial and sugarcoat what i'm thinking to not pick on you or say anything mean towards you cause you're a girl on a forum, because well... i actually get laid so i don't need to put on a fake fascade of chivalry to impress women on the net

ty ty i think im in love, ok ill take that back since most of you are childish and
will actually beleve me. i agree im just basic not complex with my writing.
o well practice makes perfect. now go give me feed on my second drop asshole thanks