Hip Hop Forum

not like most Mc's, who boast MP's to roast da trees//
i post wit ease, eatin toast n cheese, while most will cease//
leave a thought-process, wonderin y i bought-lochness//
we fought-progress, left wit sought-profits//
pull my own style wit files leave u in denial//
structure n no tiles, bile but no child, cart but no aisle//
it aint a force-spit its a course-split, got no track so watch dis horse-shit//
no source-hit rappers divorce-clit, wit no remorse for codes which morse-hit//
received a sore-throat on a whore-boat, dnt exsist? but i got a poor-quote//
fired its on a store-note no more-coats?, y persist wen dey tore-moats//
quick-smash i trick-flash wit whip-lash n inflict-rash//
a tick-stash to pick-trash no lip-mash to predict-crash//
last-time to blast-mimes, my past-line ripped-ass-fine//
cast-chime on vast-crime, i passed-rhyme n shipped-mass-wine//

jst somethin quick...not at home so i cant make it ne longer....comment if u want

this was a nice piece, lets get some feedback

On a quick note, thats was tight. You got my vote.

rhyme scheme was pretty dope now just work on making sense with it and not forcing so many multis just to make it look/sound cool

if you don't get what i mean i can break it down a little more

nice shit my dude keep doin ya thang man 8.8/10....

yah i thought it was pretty damn good too, just like killah said a just a few things don't sound right. But overall this was dope.

thanks for da feedback...i can understand where some of it doesnt make sense...i guess u jst gotta really read into it?..lol if ne one needs me to i could explain it...but other than that i appreciate the comments...

its got nothing to do with reading into it lol

since you're unfamiliar with the term "forcing multis"
its basically throwing random words in your rhymes just so it rhymes(ex. putting words out of context, putting shit that doesn't make sense, making phrases that aren't said normally)