Hip Hop Forum

Feed would be appreciated...not too much of a topic at all...jst a mini nutshell viral experience...like ones i used to always drop...lol i might drop another in a bit too


depict my scripture inflict wit raptures my sickness...backwards add words to act absurd da verbs
splurge herds of cracked ego trips , pull a 50...get in mah regal bitch! the scene'll flip without a miss
step im prepped to adress this lack of intelligent artists, if ur so good then art-this, actin like a smart
prick, wrong move...now ur leakin guts out ur armpit im an alarmed pit, call me lock jaw the way ur
charm splits, lose the accent nobody cares to hear farm spits, wit karma flipped u speak jargon shit
so heres the bargain nick, ive escaped for rape n murder now close the drapes if its fate then call me a dead man pissin waterfalls in a bed pan, i got led hands n smash rocks till im floatin in red sand, shook his hand n hes all...im ted maaaaan, this peyote is eatin my brain, my veins r drained i feel slained wit pain insane, no thought process, blood spewin like leaky faucets, a sneaky carcus executin officials wit missles so official its got North Korea faxin me info on ya kin folk so stay low or get laid down like a raid in town, im not askin for ur acceptance but u respect this presence of a molecular mass twice gifted den u fecal peasants havin a better chance eatin at 7-11 dressed as a pheasant, im present, no late fee charge on my part.....so gimme a bonus cuz viral wrote a verse wit no intentions of flowin.........




forgot a link...heres one
http://illestlyrics.com/board/regret-it-vt4051.html

Definatley a viral piece, no one else can pull some shit off like this but your whack ass haha, anyway this is a really good piece, its diverse and flows well and an awesome use of vocab. It was fun to read and I hope you drop another one soon...GET TO IT!

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Bars I didn't like
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"shook his hand n hes all...im ted maaaaan,"

"now ur leakin guts out ur armpit im an alarmed pit,"

"call me lock jaw the way ur, charm splits"

"lose the accent nobody cares to hear farm spits, wit karma flipped u speak jargon shit, so heres the bargain nick"

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Everything else was dope. As usual sick scheme. You're very good at rhyming basically every word in a rap. You're like an obsessive-compulsive rhymer. Which is good. Especially for audio & flow n such.

Even though it didn't tell much a story. You still have a way to make a pointless flow seem like it has a point.

I really liked the North Korea material. Hopefully the fbi doesn't come knocking at your door. Lmao..

Also there was some funny lines like the pissing waterfalls in a bedpan. They could have been setup better to even be more funny. Maybe in the form of a punchline. Still classic though.

Always a pleasure to read a Viral written. An exclusive (once a year) text type of deal. Haha.

Nice though. Can't wait to read the next one. 8.9/10

word....thats the first detailed feedback ive gotten in forever!..i appreciate dat...yeah i took me about 10 min to write dis inbetween messing wit beats.......but i figured i should jst post it n see wat people think...


FEEEDBAAACK!!...Word of the Thread!...lol

Lol Well Sorry 2 Bust ur Bubble This isnt Gnna Be as Detailed. But i Liked it, Even Tho i Felt Like i Was Readin an Essay, Word Lol, Viral And His 3 Dot Structure. Flowed Nice n What Complex Said, Fuckin Shitloads Of Words Rhymed n There Was No Point But it Was a Good Read Lol

lol well we all kno ur bad at details!...lol....but its all good..thanks for the feed bro...ill get at u on somethin u dropped as soon as i get time...lol 123...123...

I fo sho do not like you structure, but ne ways....

Ill break it down in sections like i see it...

depict my scripture inflict wit raptures my sickness...backwards add words to act absurd da verbs
splurge herds of cracked ego trips , pull a 50...get in mah regal bitch! the scene'll flip without a miss

^^didnt really feel that too much, doesnt really make sence to me.

step im prepped to adress this lack of intelligent artists, if ur so good then art-this, actin like a smart
prick, wrong move...now ur leakin guts out ur armpit im an alarmed pit, call me lock jaw the way ur
charm splits, lose the accent nobody cares to hear farm spits, wit karma flipped u speak jargon shit
so heres the bargain nick

^^this was off and on for me, its started off sick then fell off the rest of the way thru, it reads forced to me

ive escaped for rape n murder now close the drapes if its fate then call me a dead man pissin waterfalls in a bed pan, i got led hands n smash rocks till im floatin in red sand, shook his hand n hes all...im ted maaaaan

"i got led hands n smash rocks till im floatin in red sand"

^^only line in the whole rap that was sick... i mean what has this verse accomplished so far, i mean what exactly is the point of it...

this peyote is eatin my brain, my veins r drained i feel slained wit pain insane, no thought process, blood spewin like leaky faucets, a sneaky carcus executin officials wit missles so official its got North Korea faxin me info on ya kin folk so stay low or get laid down like a raid in town

^^again its got no real substance behind it, i understand this was like a "keystyle" and what not, but what are you rappin about, do you really execute officials wit missiles....

im not askin for ur acceptance but u respect this presence of a molecular mass twice gifted den u fecal peasants havin a better chance eatin at 7-11 dressed as a pheasant, im present, no late fee charge on my part.....so gimme a bonus cuz viral wrote a verse wit no intentions of flowin.........

"im not askin for ur acceptance but u respect this presence of a molecular mass twice gifted den u fecal peasants ""

^^i thought that line was dope as well....

overall i thought it sounded/read like you were jus babblin, tryin to rhyme alotta words, it had no direction or substance. jus words put together to make it rhyme wit no sort of structure, and mc can put words together and rhyme them...

im sure this would sound tight as an audio freestyle type thing, but it jus didnt move me in anyway. ive seen dope shit from you, dont get me wrong, cuz i aint hatin, jus statin my opinion, yuh feel me? jus keepin it reel wit yuh bro...

well if u woulda heard it u woulda liked it...it wasnt anything i was trying to accomplish..lol...i planned on writing a good one if i ever finish this fucking BEAT!..lol

im jus givin you what you wanted.....