Hip Hop Forum

Standin alone on my own in a alley so Dark
Up against the wall wit a blunt im About 2 spark/
Ma Brain so Smokey Cus The blunts bein Good to me
Sippin on ma Bottle Visions gettin Blury n its Hard for me to Breath /
Tired of These Rich Bitchs Smothering me Tryin Take What i got
Heard i was Hot Now a Mutha fuckaz Tryin to blow up ma spot/
The cold Streets Brought The Cold Steel Embracen Ma Wrist
Sellin Dope Aint shit see it brought me to this/
a Dark Hole No home iM From the Ghetto Tryina come up
On the news again then u wonder why all this violence errupts/
Take word from a bitch who grew up on the streets this ghetto
every corner u see a Chick in a tight pink Skirt Wit ha Pink Stellettoz/
Money to Feed ha Kid So She sellz ha Body Fa less
Then what the Average American Makes societys a mess/
Either Daddies Never Home Or he lost His life to the Streets
An Mommies a Crack Whore or in a Relationship she gets beat Viciously/

http://illestlyrics.com/board/smoke-the ... t3465.html

The cold Streets Brought The Cold Steel Embracen Ma Wrist
Sellin Dope Aint shit see it brought me to this/

liked that bar^^...ur structure def improved...bit sloppy but iz way better then what i saw b4..ummm..had a few multis..wasnt bad...wasnt bad...sum of the lines u stretched and didnt need 2 be stretched. or u put in an extrs word or somethin..like this one 4 example...

An Mommies a Crack Whore or in a Relationship she gets beat Viciously/

wudda been fine without the viciously in there..

thats just my opinion tho..love it or hate it...stay droppin -1-

n i was gonna take the viciously out too..

iz all good...wasnt bad 4 a lil drop

Damn ... This Was a Real Good Piece From U
Good Shit Alot Of Emotion Brought N i Like How U
Paint a Picture With Ya Deep Lines ...

Good Linez : Ma Brain so Smokey Cus The blunts bein Good to me
Sippin on ma Bottle Visions gettin Blury n its Hard for me to Breath /

Take word from a bitch who grew up on the streets this ghetto
every corner u see a Chick in a tight pink Skirt Wit ha Pink Stellettoz/
Money to Feed ha Kid So She sellz ha Body Fa less
Then what the Average American Makes societys a mess/

N Da Piece Was Solid All Through ... Damn Ma Keep Doin U ... Propz `1

Thankz 4 Tha Feed Back =/

Leave More Feed Back so i kno What i needa Work on PPl

it Was Dark, And u Gave Good Descriptions Etc. ur Deffo Gettin Better. Shows What ur Look Upon Shit is And What Others Can See it Like. So Props On That. Never Flowed Well at Some Parts, a Lot Of Beginners Cant Really Get The Msg Thru Without Makin a Line Longer, And its a Bitch 2 Shake Off Lol. Coulda Used More Multis. Keep Droppin

Thankz tre for the feed back Mucho Appreciated......Come on ppl more feed back

Thas whassup homie Good lookz on da feed back so that leave a few decent ppl on here

Nice Drop,The Onez With Meaning/emotion behind them Alwayz peak my Interest more so than The Multies,Wordplay And all that Bullshit....

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The cold Streets Brought The Cold Steel Embracen Ma Wrist
Sellin Dope Aint shit see it brought me to this/


All in all Was Pretty Solid....Some stuff did Seem Forced(Course Everyone Has that Problem).....Still Nice though Keep Droppin, U Definately Improvein

Thankz For the feed Cory Thas whassup -uppin- for more feed