Hip Hop Forum

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Here i am Shiverin` & Shakin` ..
Can`t Move, Can`t Flow, Mah Delivery is Vacant ..
Pressure, Keep On Buildin` Up, Like Tha Sets Of Towers ..
i Look Out in Tha Crowd That isn`t Blessed Wit Hours ..
Ear Drums Poppin`, Finna Blow Like i Messed Wit Flowers ..
Mah Hands, Swayin` at Tha Side, Prayin` as i Rhyme ..
Tick Tock Went Tha Lil Clock, Dated Wit Tha Time ..

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Seconds Keep Playin` Wit Mah Mind ..
Minutes Buzzin`, Thinkin` That Tha Hopes are Counted ..
i`m Chokin`, Not Sayin` a Word, Juss Frozen Solid ..
No Heart Beat .. No Blood Floodin` .. No Nerves Runnin` ..
i`m On Stage .. Waitin` & Pacin` .. No Words Commin ..
i Put Mah Mind in Tha State Where There`s Birds Hummin` ..
Dayum, This isn`t Where Tha Stars are Tha Stance ..
This Guy Keeps Tellin` Me to Go Like Mah Bars Had Tha Chance ..
i Wanna Juss Rip This Guy, & Tha Crowds Applauds are Mah Chants ..
But i Can`t Spit it Out, Damn Wat Did i Rhyme ??..
Now i`m On Stage, Not Even Bustin` a Rhyme ..
Chokin` Was Mah Only Option as i Was Stuck in Time .. [/align]

Uppin` ..

i Lyked Diz Piece ... u Stayed On Concept it
Was Ova All Nice .. Ya Structure was good 2
Fav Part : i`m On Stage .. Waitin` & Pacin` .. No Words Commin ..
i Put Mah Mind in Tha State Where There`s Birds Hummin` ..

Nice imagery. And people can relate because that right there is stage fright.

^^.. Yessir ..
That Was Mah idea ..
i Wasn`t Plannin` On Writin` it Though ..
it Juss Came Out That Way ..
Lol ..
But GoodLookin` Out Everybody ..
Uppin` Tha Thread ..

Here i am Shiverin` & Shakin` ..
Can`t Move, Can`t Flow, Mah Delivery is Vacant ..
Pressure, Keep On Buildin` Up, Like Tha Sets Of Towers ..
i Look Out in Tha Crowd That isn`t Blessed Wit Hours ..

Yo that shit was hott No lie i unno it must be me but i aint seen u write shit like that b4 but its hott

yeah it was cool to see another side of his writing, I enjoyed it and it was intresting to see a piece like this. Hawt shit!

nice fucking poem rell!!! flat the fuck out!!!!

all of this was nice

Here i am Shiverin` & Shakin` ..
Can`t Move, Can`t Flow, Mah Delivery is Vacant ..
Pressure, Keep On Buildin` Up, Like Tha Sets Of Towers ..
i Look Out in Tha Crowd That isn`t Blessed Wit Hours ..
Ear Drums Poppin`, Finna Blow Like i Messed Wit Flowers ..
Mah Hands, Swayin` at Tha Side, Prayin` as i Rhyme ..
Tick Tock Went Tha Lil Clock, Dated Wit Tha Time ..

n this

Dayum, This isn`t Where Tha Stars are Tha Stance ..
This Guy Keeps Tellin` Me to Go Like Mah Bars Had Tha Chance ..
i Wanna Juss Rip This Guy, & Tha Crowds Applauds are Mah Chants ..
But i Can`t Spit it Out, Damn Wat Did i Rhyme ??..
Now i`m On Stage, Not Even Bustin` a Rhyme ..
Chokin` Was Mah Only Option as i Was Stuck in Time ..

great job man... i'll be readin ur poems ALOT more often... man

peace

Good Lookin` Out Lawgix ..
U Give Tha Best Poetry Feedback ..
Lol

lol i try... haha go check some of mine... n keep droppin em man... n i'll leave feed...

peace