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Posted: Tue Jan 23, 2007 7:06 am
by LadieHazard
i kill Bitchs n Snitchz wit Ma Telekenesis Rip em To Pieces dont need No reasonz My Personality Changes like all 4 Seasons This bitch is Pleadin For anything But Beatenz im Feedin While shes Bleedin n Screamin Ma Many ways Of Scheming Has these Mutha fuckaz believen im not human being But seein the Hate in Ma Soul im Realeasin
http://illestlyrics.com/board/post18211 ... 7b7f#18211
Posted: Tue Jan 23, 2007 7:13 am
by |.R.SON.aLL.|
U Needa Space Out yo` Bars ..
U Puttin` it in Paragraph Form ..
Juss Use ..
Blah Blah //
Blah Blah Blah //
^^ .. Like That ..
it`ll Help U Out ..
Posted: Tue Jan 23, 2007 7:21 am
by LadieHazard
Thas whassup what chu think about it all in all tho
Posted: Tue Jan 23, 2007 7:23 am
by |.R.SON.aLL.|
i Mean it`s a Koo` Drop ..
it Mean Sense ..
Multies Was Koo` ..
it Was Solid .. U Juss Needa Learn How to Write a Bar ..
Posted: Tue Jan 23, 2007 7:24 am
by LadieHazard
Yea im tryin thas the first one i put in here so0o ima be workin on em
Posted: Tue Jan 23, 2007 7:25 am
by |.R.SON.aLL.|
Get at Me On Spin i`ll Help U Out ..
Posted: Tue Jan 23, 2007 7:28 am
by LadieHazard
Thas whassup Thankz
Posted: Tue Jan 23, 2007 10:32 am
by 16 Micz
pretty basic, we have a few rules here, ppost a link of feedback you left on somebody elses drop, but anyway this was pretty basic, like rell said u need to structure your bars a lil better the rhymign and vocab was on point just felt like i was readin an essay.
Posted: Tue Jan 23, 2007 10:34 am
by LadieHazard
Yea ma Dude shazie told me about the Link after i posted it Ma bad tho n Yea im workin on doin the bars n spacen em so it dont look like a big paragraph jus ma first rhyme on here n didnt kno how it went ma dude failed to tell me alla that
Posted: Tue Jan 23, 2007 10:36 am
by 16 Micz
lol itsa ll good just keep practicing and workin at it, welcome to the site by the way.
Posted: Tue Jan 23, 2007 10:36 am
by LadieHazard
lol Thankz ..
Posted: Tue Jan 23, 2007 10:44 am
by Haz
For a Few Lines Dis Way Nice .. Multis Was Good
U Came All Out Nice in Diz
Favorite Linez : My Personality Changes like all 4 Seasons This bitch is Pleadin For anything But Beatenz im Feedin While shes Bleedin n Screamin
Posted: Tue Jan 23, 2007 10:49 am
by LadieHazard
Thankz Papi Meanz Much Coming from Ma Teacher
Posted: Tue Jan 23, 2007 12:41 pm
by ~Symbolikull~
it was alright.... rhymes and vocab were pretty basic, and you didnt really have any substabce or real meanin begind any of your lines... you may wanna enroll in school here... your likely to grow more, and keep readin and postin feed on others and youll get more advice from everyone.....
and welcome to the site....
Posted: Wed Jan 24, 2007 1:11 am
by LadieHazard
Thankz Yo i jus got on this site yesterday so Yea..im gettin there